Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Miracle #5 update

Oh my goodness where do I even start...

Little h (as I call my youngest) did fine over Christmas break and the first few weeks back at school. I explained to him that I was going on my annual girls trip and that if he behaved then I would pay for him to go to the Y afterschool that week. (His buddy A goes there!)

Well he seemed to get his shit together so I paid for his week. I did remind him that if he "blew it" while I was gone then we were going straight to Sundance (behavior center). He acted great and I thought wow the Y is his carrot. Then while I was gone, the Y called G to come get h, it was on a Thursday. G took off work the next day to get h directly from school instead of letting him go to the Y. I got home Superbowl Sunday and he told me that he was going to spend all of Monday in the BIC room because of a "little problem on Friday". I told him that I was dissapointed. When I picked him up Tuesday he never came to the van so I had to go into the school to find him. He was in the BIC room rolling around on the floor & screaming. I won't bore you with the details but basically what could have been a small problem escalated unnecessarily. (in my humble opinion). That was the day I called Sundance. I allowed him to go to school on Wed. but we went to our appointment at Sundance on Thursday. After interviewing us they told me he would start on Tuesday (a week ago yesterday). h went to school on Friday and Monday and acted SUPERB but by that time the damage had been done and a new plan was in place.

Before I signed him out of DPE I had an ARD that told me their diagnostic findings did not show h to have Autism.
Also, his sleep study showed NOTHING. No apnea, no restlessness (usually found in ADHD kids), no unusual brain activity. NOTHING!

So, basically h has been at Sundance for week one of a 4 ~ 6 week program.
They have changed his medicine and officially diagnosed him with bi-polar disorder.

How did all this shit happen??
At least I am finally getting answers.
I am also going there for therapy once a week.

h will be 8 on March 16th.

How do I feel about this?
Scared, confused, worried, stressed, etc., etc., etc....

I did just now buy tickets to the Monster Truck races for Saturday. I even got the more expensive ones so he can go in the pits.

It will be a date with just h and me.

I always seem to relate to a particular song during all my stressers with h. This time I find myself crying as I sing "I will Wait" by Mumford & Sons.

The lyrics follow....
And I came home
Like a stone
And I fell heavy into your arms
These days of darkness
Which we've known
Will blow away with this new sun

And I'll kneel down
Wait for now
And I'll kneel down
Know my ground

And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you

So break my step
And relent
You forgave and I won't forget
Know what we've seen
And him with less
Now in some way
Shake the excess

But I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you

So I'll be bold
As well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart
So tame my flesh
And fix my eyes
That tethered mind free from the lies

But I'll kneel down
Wait for now
I'll kneel down
Know my ground

Raise my hands
Paint my spirit gold
And bow my head
Keep my heart slow


Cause I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
 
 
Please continue to pray for my family.
This will be something that we can never escape and I need the strength to get through it.