For the past week, we were on our family cruise. (The one I booked at the last minute & was freaking out about!)
Well we went and now we are back.
End of story.
Shit, I'm only kidding.
I had so much fun most of the time.
Before you ask:
YES, my children did fight with each other.
YES, H acted like she was in charge.
YES, K did his whining.
YES, L acted like her normal diva self.
YES, D did act the best, which is why he's my current favorite child.
YES, h did have some tough times.
OH and YES I did something to piss off G so he bitched at me about something rather loudly. You know what I heard?
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
We had a fucking fog delay. I know it wasn't Carnival's fault, Royal Carribean was stuck out there too.
We started getting texts from Carnival concerning the fog so we decided to hang out in our hotel until they kicked us out.
We drove to the pier, dropped off our luggage, handed the porter a $20 and drove back to the seawall to sightsee.
There was more fog on the seawall then there was at the pier.
So we drove back to the pier and decided to have lunch at Fisherman's Wharf. While we were there we saw her come in followed by that RC ship. I just love the Magic. She is amazing!
So since we knew she was here we decided to drive over to EZcruise. I figured we would park the van and walk around a bit.
Well there was a line for their parking lot. I decided to get in it since it was only about 20 cars long. 2 hours later the van was parked and we were walking the 2 blocks to the pier.
Apparently a lot of people checked into the terminal during those 2 hours because we were given a zone 31 tag and we were ushered into the overflow room. Carnival passed out cheese crackers and bottled waters. 2 hours later we were given our ship cards and we were on the ship.
All in all, a good "teaching experience" for my kids.
Monday & Tuesday were "fun days at sea".
We watched but didn't participate in the game of love show. When I told G I wanted to go see it I got the look!
I told him that we were chosen on the Glory and it probably wouldn't happen again and I was correct.
I talked to the middle couple a few days later and told them they should be happy they didn't have to answer the questions from the Glory. Their questions were TAME compared to the shit they asked us!
We went to a cocktail party organized by the cruise critic/facebook group. That was super fun. When they played the cupid shuffle I jumped on the dance floor!!
When they played the Wobble I started dancing like I knew what I was doing. UNTIL the DJ left his booth and stood next to me to help me out. Hey I was drinking A LOT and still think I did pretty good.
WEDNESDAY was Mahogany Bay Roatan.
We got off the ship and got on the Magic Flying Beach Chair that took us to the free beach. While the kids & G were swimming/relaxing, H and I got on our flying beach chair to go shopping at Del Sol (family tradition).
We went back to the beach and stayed a few more hours. The kids were starting to get restless and a little red (even after repeated coats of sunblock). So we headed back to the ship. As the kids & G went to the restroom, I went to Fat Tuesday and got me a drink in a tube. One word to describe that drink... YUMMY!!!
After we had lunch on the ship I noticed that we had another hour or so in Roatan. I kept telling G that I was going to get another tube but since I fell asleep at the lunch table, he didn't think that was a good idea. ;)
THURSDAY was BELIZE
Belize is a tender port. Since we all had Carnival sponsored excursions booked on this one we were given a tender # and a time to meet. Me, H, K, L & D were on one excursion and G & h were on another. G & h went to a private beach and had lunch.
The other 5 of us boarded a bus for a 1~ 1/2 hour drive. When we arrived in the "jungle" we paid for a locker and got outfitted with harnesses, helmets and gloves. I think we had to walk like a million steps to get to the first zip line. Ok, maybe not a million but I bet we were as high, if not higher, than the first hill of The Titan at 6 flags!!!!
During the walk, K was starting to "melt". At one point he was sitting on the steps 2 flights below me and not moving. His reason?? He wanted to be first and L was in front of me.
Well I had an EPICFAILMOMMOMENT. I yelled (2 flights down in the jungle) "K...., you can be first in our family if you get your ass up here right now! However, if you make me walk down there to get you I will make you go AFTER ever fucking person in this line!"
He chose the first option.
K has got to be the bravest kid I know. He never looked nervous at all. The guy hooked him up and K yelled "YAHOO" the whole way across.
L looked nervous but you could hear her laughing.
I told the guy I was nervous. He said "relax & close your eyes". When I did...... he FUCKING pushed me off that platform!! Can you guess what I said the whole way??
S H I T !!!!
I waited on the other side for H for what seemed like an eternity. Apparently the same thing the guy did to me, he did to her.
She came across screaming "What did I do to deserve this???"
D came across laughing.
By the time we were on the 5th and final zip line we were all laughing our asses off.
When we got off the zipline we went to our locker and changed into our swimsuits, got outfitted with a life vest and helmet, grabbed an intertube and walked FOREVER again. When we finally stopped at the river with our guide the water no longer seemed cold. He hooked us up and we went cave tubing. It was so nice to just sit on that tube and do nothing. While in the cave we saw a skunk climbing the side!
Our guide said that he had never seen one in the cave before.
When our ride was over, I bought everyone an authentic Belizian lunch of rice, beans and chicken. OMG that food was so good. I bought myself a Belizian beer. (Note to self... look for beer at Central Market!)
After we ate, we got back on the bus for our long ride back. While the kids were asleep a nice good looking man, traveling with his equally good looking partner, told me that I was his favorite mom ever because of what I said to K. If you really know me, you will know that at that exact moment my cheeks flamed. I was so embarrassed.
When we got back to the city we found out we were late but since we were on a Carnival excursion it didn't really matter. We didn't get to shop like I had hoped but we did make it back to the ship. They told us the last tender would be at 4:15. We got on the tender at 4:45!
FRIDAY was Cozumel.
We got a taxi and went to an all-inclusive resort for the day.
The kids ordered non-alcoholic smoothies all day and I had bloody Mary's. I don't know why I chose those to drink but man were they yummy!!!
While sitting at the bar ordering another one a man asked me how long I was going to be there for. I said.. "Oh about 4 more hours". Then he asked if he could take me back to his room. I told him that I didn't think that would be a good idea since I was traveling with my hubby and 5 kids. For some reason, I didn't see him after that.....
When we got back from the resort we did some shopping. I got myself 4 more bottles of Mexican vanilla and some souvenirs for the teachers.
SATURDAY was a FUN DAY AT SEA
I finally tried the ropes course. SUPER SCARY
SUNDAY we had to come home.
It was about 75 in Galveston when we got off the ship around 1:30.
My kids were all in t-shirts and shorts when we got to the van.
I wish I had known about the sleet that greeted us at Buckees.
OR the sleet that followed us all the way from 179 to 84 to 171.
By the time we hit 35 in Hillsboro the roads were icy.
I am not sure how many wrecks we passed.
We actually saw one happen on the other side of the road.
It involved a truck with a horse trailer.
My kids said "Mom, we need to pray for all these people in these wrecks and those horses too!"
As we crawled by the tow truck drivers and fire fighters we told them about the people on the other side of the highway. One of the tow truck drivers said Thanks, turned around and went to check on them.
A truck that was RIGHT BESIDE US started to spin but he got ahold of it and barely missed us in the process.
At that moment I closed my eyes and told everyone not to wake me until we were home.
Nearly 10 hours after we got in our van we were home. It took us double the time but we arrived safely.
Today school was canceled so the kids got caught up on their homework and I went to the store.
Tomorrow... reality starts again.
I wish I was back on that beautiful ship drinking that Thirstyfrog red beer....