Monday, March 3, 2014

Magic Week

We're back!

For the past week, we were on our family cruise. (The one I booked at the last minute & was freaking out about!)

Well we went and now we are back.

End of story.

Shit, I'm only kidding.

I had so much fun most of the time.

Before you ask:

YES, my children did fight with each other.

YES, H acted like she was in charge.
YES, K did his whining.
YES, L acted like her normal diva self.
YES, D did act the best, which is why he's my current favorite child.

YES, h did have some tough times.

OH and YES I did something to piss off G so he bitched at me about something rather loudly. You know what I heard?

We had a fucking fog delay. I know it wasn't Carnival's fault, Royal Carribean was stuck out there too.

We started getting texts from Carnival concerning the fog so we decided to hang out in our hotel until they kicked us out.

We drove to the pier, dropped off our luggage, handed the porter a $20 and drove back to the seawall to sightsee.

There was more fog on the seawall then there was at the pier.

So we drove back to the pier and decided to have lunch at Fisherman's Wharf.  While we were there we saw her come in followed by that RC ship. I just love the Magic. She is amazing!

So since we knew she was here we decided to drive over to EZcruise. I figured we would park the van and walk around a bit.

Well there was a line for their parking lot. I decided to get in it since it was only about 20 cars long. 2 hours later the van was parked and we were walking the 2 blocks to the pier.

Apparently a lot of people checked into the terminal during those 2 hours because we were given a zone 31 tag and we were ushered into the overflow room. Carnival passed out cheese crackers and bottled waters. 2 hours later we were given our ship cards and we were on the ship.

All in all, a good "teaching experience" for my kids.

Monday & Tuesday were "fun days at sea".

We watched but didn't participate in the game of love show. When I told G I wanted to go see it I got the look!
I told him that we were chosen on the Glory and it probably wouldn't happen again and I was correct.
I talked to the middle couple a few days later and told them they should be happy they didn't have to answer the questions from the Glory. Their questions were TAME compared to the shit they asked us!

We went to a cocktail party organized by the cruise critic/facebook group. That was super fun. When they played the cupid shuffle I jumped on the dance floor!!
When they played the Wobble I started dancing like I knew what I was doing. UNTIL the DJ left his booth and stood next to me to help me out. Hey I was drinking A LOT and still think I did pretty good.

WEDNESDAY was Mahogany Bay Roatan.
We got off the ship and got on the Magic Flying Beach Chair that took us to the free beach. While the kids & G were swimming/relaxing, H and I got on our flying beach chair to go shopping at Del Sol (family tradition).
We went back to the beach and stayed a few more hours. The kids were starting to get restless and a little red (even after repeated coats of sunblock). So we headed back to the ship. As the kids & G went to the restroom, I went to Fat Tuesday and got me a drink in a tube. One word to describe that drink... YUMMY!!!
After we had lunch on the ship I noticed that we had another hour or so in Roatan. I kept telling G that I was going to get another tube but since I fell asleep at the lunch table, he didn't think that was a good idea. ;)

Belize is a tender port. Since we all had Carnival sponsored excursions booked on this one we were given a tender # and a time to meet. Me, H, K, L & D were on one excursion and G & h were on another. G & h went to a private beach and had lunch.
The other 5 of us boarded a bus for a 1~ 1/2 hour drive. When we arrived in the "jungle" we paid for a locker and got outfitted with harnesses, helmets and gloves. I think we had to walk like a million steps to get to the first zip line. Ok, maybe not a million but I bet we were as high, if not higher, than the first hill of The Titan at 6 flags!!!!
During the walk, K was starting to "melt". At one point he was sitting on the steps 2 flights below me and not moving. His reason?? He wanted to be first and L was in front of me.
Well I had an EPICFAILMOMMOMENT. I yelled (2 flights down in the jungle) "K...., you can be first in our family if you get your ass up here right now! However, if you make me walk down there to get you I will make you go AFTER ever fucking person in this line!"
He chose the first option.

K has got to be the bravest kid I know. He never looked nervous at all. The guy hooked him up and K yelled "YAHOO" the whole way across.
L looked nervous but you could hear her laughing.
I told the guy I was nervous. He said "relax & close your eyes". When I did...... he FUCKING pushed me off that platform!! Can you guess what I said the whole way?? 
S H I T !!!!
I waited on the other side for H for what seemed like an eternity. Apparently the same thing the guy did to me, he did to her.
She came across screaming "What did I do to deserve this???"
D came across laughing.

By the time we were on the 5th and final zip line we were all laughing our asses off.

When we got off the zipline we went to our locker and changed into our swimsuits, got outfitted with a life vest and helmet, grabbed an intertube and walked FOREVER again. When we finally stopped at the river with our guide the water no longer seemed cold.  He hooked us up and we went cave tubing. It was so nice to just sit on that tube and do nothing. While in the cave we saw a skunk climbing the side!
Our guide said that he had never seen one in the cave before.
When our ride was over, I bought everyone an authentic Belizian lunch of rice, beans and chicken. OMG that food was so good. I bought myself a Belizian beer. (Note to self... look for beer at Central Market!)
After we ate, we got back on the bus for our long ride back. While the kids were asleep a nice good looking man, traveling with his equally good looking partner, told me that I was his favorite mom ever because of what I said to K. If you really know me, you will know that at that exact moment my cheeks flamed. I was so embarrassed.
When we got back to the city we found out we were late but since we were on a Carnival excursion it didn't really matter. We didn't get to shop like I had hoped but we did make it back to the ship. They told us the last tender would be at 4:15. We got on the tender at 4:45!

FRIDAY was Cozumel.
We got a taxi and went to an all-inclusive resort for the day.
The kids ordered non-alcoholic smoothies all day and I had bloody Mary's. I don't know why I chose those to drink but man were they yummy!!!
While sitting at the bar ordering another one a man asked me how long I was going to be there for. I said.. "Oh about 4 more hours". Then he asked if he could take me back to his room. I told him that I didn't think that would be a good idea since I was traveling with my hubby and 5 kids. For some reason, I didn't see him after that.....

When we got back from the resort we did some shopping. I got myself 4 more bottles of Mexican vanilla and some souvenirs for the teachers.

I finally tried the ropes course. SUPER SCARY

SUNDAY we had to come home.
It was about 75 in Galveston when we got off the ship around 1:30.
My kids were all in t-shirts and shorts when we got to the van.
I wish I had known about the sleet that greeted us at Buckees.
OR the sleet that followed us all the way from 179 to 84 to 171.
By the time we hit 35 in Hillsboro the roads were icy.
I am not sure how many wrecks we passed.
We actually saw one happen on the other side of the road.
It involved a truck with a horse trailer.
My kids said "Mom, we need to pray for all these people in these wrecks and those horses too!"
As we crawled by the tow truck drivers and fire fighters we told them about the people on the other side of the highway. One of the tow truck drivers said Thanks, turned around and went to check on them.
A truck that was RIGHT BESIDE US started to spin but he got ahold of it and barely missed us in the process.
At that moment I closed my eyes and told everyone not to wake me until we were home.
Nearly 10 hours after we got in our van we were home. It took us double the time but we arrived safely.
Today school was canceled so the kids got caught up on their homework and I went to the store.

Tomorrow... reality starts again.

Reality sucks!

I wish I was back on that beautiful ship drinking that Thirstyfrog red beer....

Monday, February 17, 2014

Life in the 100's

My last post was more like a whoeisme post.
I was having a hard week (year) and was feeling sorry for myself.

My all-inclusive, adults only trip with 7 of my girlfriends was just what the dr. ordered.

I can't tell you about all our antics (what happens on the girl's trip, stays on the girl's trip) but I can tell you a few things.

To date I have lost 215 pounds.
Which means, I have lost more than I currently weigh!

Even though I am now in the 100's, I still don't feel good about my body.
I am not sure I ever will feel good about my body but I do feel better.

The good thing about traveling with your gorgeous girlfriends is that they make you feel like you are gorgeous also.
There is a lot to be said about having a roommate (LK) that tells you that you're beautiful everyday.
Yes, there was A LOT of alcohol consumed but sometimes the truth comes out when you are sloshed. So I will take LK's word for it on this one. HAHAHA

Another thing is that when you are traveling with group of hot women, you tend to get attention from hot guys.
You see that is something that I am not used to. Yes, I get asked out when driving my bus on occasion but that's different.

To actually have hot guys sit by you on the beach because they think you are hysterical and fun to be around is a huge compliment.
To have those same guys dance with you in the club is fun.
To have them make you laugh is fun.
To have them pay attention to you is something that is hard to forget.

It is hard to come back to reality after a week of constant compliments.

Yes, my girlfriends are gorgeous but they are also the best friends anyone could ask for.

LK, GP, TH, LH, T, AR & SF are the cure for when you are feeling whoeisme.

On our trip we went on a pirate ship. I had the cutest little guy dancing with me.
On our trip we went on a sunset cruise. I had the funnest time dancing with my girlfriends.
On our trip we attended a foam party. No words can describe the fun with this one. If you have never attended a foam party, I highly recommend it.
On our trip we went into the resort's club where I went toe to toe with LH in consuming 10 lemon drop shots. After the 10th one a man said he needed someone like me on his trips. LH proceeded to tell him he could have me!
On our last night we sat on the beach and decided to go for a swim.
So we did! LK turned some music on her phone and we danced and played around in the water with our beers wearing just our under garments.
I have never laughed so much in all my life.

You see, being in the 100's has its advantages.
I would have NEVER had the nerve to disrobe on a public beach before the weight loss.

In 6 days, I will be on vacation again.
This time with my family.
Chances are there will be no midnight swim in my underwear.
Chances are there will be no hot guys sitting by me on the beach.
Chances are there will be no foam party either.

However, I will have my family with me.
As a family we need this break.
As a family we are going to breathe a little easier.
As a family we are going to enjoy each other's company.
With my family in tow, I am getting to check off something from my bucket list.

You see, now that I'm in the 100's, I am going zip-lining!!

You know what....


Thursday, January 30, 2014

Say something I'm giving up on you....

Have you heard that song by "Great Big World"?

Say something I'm giving up on you.
I'm sorry that I didn't get to you.

You know how when you climb a mountain?
You see when you get to the edge, there's a chance you are going to fall off.

I am on the edge.

Leaps and Bounds forwards

Leaps and Bounds backwards

Is this really my life?

Why can't we have good days ALL IN A ROW???

Today was h's 2nd day in BIC and he will be there tomorrow.

L & H are fighting LITERALLY.

K refuses to do his homework until G is home so G yells at me.

D seems to be the only normal one this week.


I'm not giving up on the kids.

I feel like I'm giving up on me.

I'm so damn stressed out I can't concentrate.

I started emptying my closet of all my bigger clothes hoping that would help me.

Instead it has caused me more stress.

I am overwhelmed that I am a shopaholic.

I had no idea I had so many clothes.

I have given a friend 5 garbage bags full and I have 2 more.

I have given Goodwill 6 garbage bags full and I have thrown out 3.

What is wrong with me?

I shopped because I was depressed.

Now I'm stressed.

After 20 years, I took up smoking cigarettes again.

It seems to be the only thing that calms me.

I am up to 3 a day.

You see, G thought I quit again Thanksgiving.

I did.

This week, I started again.

I honestly feel like I am losing my battle of wills.

I even ordered a BOX of Big Hunk candy bars from Amazon.

Why do I sabotage myself?

My reward for eating the candy was my crown falling out.

Geesh.... I can't catch a break.

Everyone says they envy me because of my trips coming up.

I find this even more depressing.

I would give everything I own up if I could be guaranteed a good school  year.

NO guarantees in life.

I am on the edge and I don't know which way I'm going.

My upcoming girl's trip could not have come at a better time.

There's a good chance I will be drunk the majority of the time and I will probably act a little inappropriate too.

I feel blessed beyond measure that I am going with true friends who don't judge me. Because right now I'm not sure which way is up.

Say Something I'm giving up on you.............   That line is what I say to myself.

Lord, help me through because I am at my breaking point.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Quick! Remove all guns from my possession before I kill someone!

Lord help my thought right now.
All I want to do is commit murder.
When I finish this post, I pretty much guarantee I will get some accomplices.

For the past 3 weeks I have wondered what the hell is wrong with h.
He was doing good otherwise I would have NEVER gone to Tennessee.
While I was gone we all know that h didn't take his medicine regularly.
When I came back I figured all bad behaviors would stop.


I could NOT figure out what the hell was going on.

I demanded a medicine change at the psychiatrist's office because that is the only thing I could think of.

I was starting to think that my red dye theory was wrong.

I was starting to think I was going to be in bed again.

I was starting to think h was going to have to go back to Cooks or Sundance or anywhere.

I was heartbroken.

Then he started taking his new meds and had a bad reaction.

I took him to the pediatrician after visiting with the school nurse.

Virus? Med issues?

A little of both.

So he was out Thursday and Friday.

Saturday morning he comes to stand by me as I'm making waffles.

He has a big glass of juice in his hand.

I said: "Hey gimme a drink of that."
He said: "You always say you don't like this juice & dad shouldn't buy it."
Me: "Yes but mommy has a bit of a headache and I'm thirsty."
h: "I'll just get you your own glass."

Well he had to go to the laundry room fridge (used to be beer fridge, now its a milk fridge) to get another box.

As he's pouring it I asked him how much juice do you drink?



Sometimes at night

All of a sudden a light bulb went off in my head.

The label....

Do you see it????

If there is anything that is good from this fuck up then it would be that h's medicine did change.

You see the school nurse told me that one of the meds he was on would cause weight gain.

So I guess the psychiatrist and one other person are on my shitlist.

Now.... where is that gun???

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Well SHIT!

I have been sitting here for a few weeks trying to decide if I should talk about what happened while I was in Tennessee.

I really don't want to come off as ungreatful but there is a limit to stupidity that I can't handle.

You see I had everything planned out.
I stayed up all night cooking upcoming lunches and dinners.

The first DAY it all went to shit.

L was in charge of lunches. H was in charge of dinner. L was given the assignment of making sure h took his meds everyday. H was given the assignment of making sure K took his meds everyday.
Why didn't I assign their dad?
Well because he is an Engineer and common sense is NOT his forte.
Besides, he was pretty pissed that I left.

For the lunches I DREW pictures of the lunchbox and put those pictures on the fridge.
I cleaned my fridge and dedicated the TOP shelf to lunch only items.
Each container was labeled.
Then I wrote in what food item went in each square.
Then I drew 4 more.
They were labeled MONDAY, TUESDAY, etc...

For the dinners I made a list and put in on the fridge.
I packaged them up in gallon size baggies and wrote the "finishing" directions on the bag.
These baggies were on the bottom shelf.

L took the dinner list and tried to make lunches with those items.
H had a panic attack.

I said chocolate chips could be put in the little dessert square.
Butterscotch chips were taken off the TOP shelf of the pantry and placed in the square instead.

In case you were wondering....
Butterscotch chips have red food dye in them.

That's what I thought too.

K took his medicine everyday thanks to H's insistence.
h took his medicine TWICE.

Let that sink in for a minute...

TWO doses of meds during the ENTIRE 9 days I was gone.
Red food dye in his lunch everyday.

Wanna guess what happened???

BIC room the ENTIRE week last week.

h finally earned his way out and went back to class on Monday.

YESTERDAY there was an incident and I found him screaming in the hall with about 3 teachers trying to calm him down.
(Good thing I was at the school.)

I got him up and we went into the "padded room" in BIC.

35 minutes later I left the school and he seemed to be ok.

I picked him up early so we could see his psychiatrist.

Why do I bother going early???

The good news is that we only had to wait ONE hour this time. (insert eye roll)

When we finally got in the office I threw h's med bottles on the desk.
Dr. S looked at me like I was crazy.
I said "I'm not leaving 'till these are changed because I can't have another year like last year. Besides, I'm not ready to go to Betty Ford yet!"

We left with 3 new scripts.

After driving to 4 different Walgreens I had them filled and paid for.

We started them last night.

At 3 am h woke up saying he felt dizzy and nauseous.

At 5:30 I woke up to start on lunches.

At 6:30 I woke up h, with no problems.
He still complained of dizziness.
I gave him a bagel for breakfast and some oj.

We walked to school and he DID NOT want his jacket.
54 degrees this morning.

By the time we got to school his face was red and he was sweating.

He went into his BIC class and sat at the desk with the fan.

I went to the nurses office to tell them of the med change.

I visited with the nurse a while asking about h's symptoms.

One hour after I dropped him off, h and I were on our way home because he threw up.

We got home and I called his pediatrician.

I am used to med changes. I am used to the way they affect h. I am not used to seeing him like this.

We have an appointment at 1.

Please continue to pray for my sweet boy.
I know he is in there somewhere........

Tuesday, September 17, 2013


Did h have a good day?


Was I told about it?


I don't know what's worse...
  • Receiving a dozen "comegethim" calls a week.
  • Not hearing anything.
You see, he had a bad day AGAIN!

This time I can't blame the food dye.

Apparently some kids told him his mother was fat.

So he sat in the office because he chose that over the BIC room.

Did he tell anyone what the kids said?



"Why should I? They won't believe me anyway!"

WTH am I suppose to say to that?
WTH am I suppose to do with that?
WTH am I suppose to do?

On another note, I was told that he was OFFERED some gummy bears for "good behavior" from one of his teachers!





I am at a loss here people...

I feel like an alcoholic reaching out for help.

h is my vodka.

On my knees....

Today I am on my knees begging for some good days.
h had a backwards slide yesterday.
Even though I feel sometimes like I am looking for "something/anything" to blame besides my son... I really think the culprit is Red 40.
You see, after about an hour after we got home h admitted he ate 2 bowls of froot loops at around 2:30 in the morning.
Now, you might say its a coincidence but I no longer do.
I put that fucking box of cereal in the trash!
I didn't even know I had it...
So today I dedicate the song Perfect by Pink to h.
I never realized how the words seem to fit my life.
To me h is perfect.
To h, he feels like he is nothing.
Oh please join me on bended knee... We need it now before we slide into our pattern from last year.
Please let today be a good day....
Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss, no way it's all good, it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look, I'm still around
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, Fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing you are fuckin' perfect to me
You're so mean when you talk
About yourself, you are wrong
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead
So complicated, look how big you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
 It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, see you do the same
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me
The whole world stares while I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and we tried, tried, tried
But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics 'cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Strange ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that? Why do I do that?
Ooh, pretty, pretty, pretty
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel

 Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me
You are perfect to me
You're perfect, you're perfect to me

Pretty, pretty please if you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me
I'm making a promise right now. If I find out that h's critics are the ones that are suppose to be helping him, I will not be held responsible for my actions! That is a PROMISE!! You fuck with my kid, you fuck with me! Get your head out of your sorry ass and help my kid before I get really desperate!!