What do I do??

Have you ever just had one of those days, no wait, weeks??

I know this blog is suppose to be about weight loss but today it is about motherhood.

I find myself on the end of a short rope of patience.

How is this even possible?

You see I struggled with infertility. I mean we did infertility for 6 years before our 11 year old was born. A year after her birth, we decided to try again. (Just in case it took another 6 years!) Well it didn't take 6 this time. H was 2 1/2 when K, L & D were born. Baby h came along after we got rid of all the baby stuff to Goodwill. Ironically K, L & D were 2 1/2 when baby h was born. So I found myself feeling as if my cup runeth over. I had 5 beautiful healthy children that were 5 and younger.

So now that we have the ages 11, 8, 8, 8 and 5 I seem to finding myself regretting the time of day when I have to pick them up from school.

How can someone who wanted kids so badly end up feeling like this?
Somedays I wonder if I need therapy. Seriously, who spends all that money on fertility because they couldn't wait to be a mom and then now all they can think about is when they will be able to escape for a few days??

I am dealing with homework, sports schedules and the ever present non-compliant child.
I feel like I have tried everything I can think of to help my children succeed.
I save all the time so my children are able to play the sport they want.
I make their lunch everyday.
I help them with breakfast everyday.
I help them find clothes everyday.
I drive them to school everyday.
I pick them up from school everyday.
I go over their folders everyday.
I help them with their homework everyday.
I make them dinner everyday.
I drive them to their specific sports activities during the week.
I even get excited when it is time to pick them up because I have missed them all day.

AND THEN

IT HITS.........
THE WHINING!! THE FIGHTING!! THE COMPLAINING!! THE TATTLING!! THE MELTS!! (This is what I call it when the child in question suddenly loses all feeling in his/her legs and "melts" into the floor!)

• I have a child that doesn't want to follow the rules at school or at home.
• I have a spouse that acts like a helicopter to said child.
• I have a child that gets into trouble at school but acts like an angel (most of the time) at home.
• I have a child that acts perfect at school but is now pre-hormonal, so the behavior is reminisent of something from outerspace.
• I have a child that constantly wants to follow me, touch me, just in general be near me. This child is perfect at school. This child just seems to need a little extra from me but it is hard to give because of the fights this child starts at home.
• I have a child that acts perfect at school and at home but yet I find I am not spending enough time with this child because there is no "immediate need" there.

My time is constantly spent on child who doesn't want to follow rules at school or at home.

What do I do???

I feel like I should spend more time on the children that are acting good rather than the one that isn't. How can I divide myself up and at the same time not let anyone down?? If I don't spend so much time on the one that acts bad, how will they succeed at school? If it weren't for me this child would be failing!

How am I able to do this? I feel myself feeling really old lately.
I am worn down and drained mentally and physically.
I want my children to know I love them.

I find myself praying a lot hoping this is just some passing phase.......

This is where motherhood meets weight loss struggle.

Back in the old days.... well back about 7 months ago I would just go into the kitchen and start stress eating. These days I am finding myself starting up the bad habits. I ate a mini candy bar the other day because I felt like that 100 grand bar knew my pain. That candy bar could somehow realize what I was going through. Yes, I felt sick later but at the moment of crisis I didn't care. What do "normal" people do? I can't just pack everyone in the van and head to the gym.

So what do I do?
Should I just suck it up and slap myself in the face?
Should I start increasing my wine consumption in the evening?

Is there any advice out there for a mother that feels like she is drowning in her own pity party??

Holy Shit Moment

It seems as if I have been having a lot of "Holy Shit" moments.
The latest, because I have been sworn to secrecy on the others, has to deal with my weight. I know, surprise, surprise, surprise. Why on earth would it deal with anything else. This is after all my blog about my weight loss struggles, surgery, recovery, willIeverbeskinny???, or pretty much anything to do with my weight.
Well I have been in a huge funk lately and have neglected to go to the gym.
So today I decided to pull out the Wii. I figured what the hell. Nobody in my house will be afraid of me in shorts because they have already seen my fat ass in shorts before.
So I put my shorts on and put in "Just Dance 2". I have heard how fun it is but this was the first time I have used it. I selected 6 songs because it was the hardest.
I picked the following songs to shake my ass to... Jump, That's Not My Name, Proud Mary, Hey Ya, It's Raining Men and When I Grow Up.
That's right folks... I picked 6 high energy, fast paced songs. I cranked the receiver up so loud my son asked me to turn it down. haha
I told the kids to try and keep up.
When the songs were over I decided to keep the exercising going so I pulled out the Wii Fit Plus.
I started with the Body test.
In case you are not familiar with the Wii Fit, it tests your center of balance among other things. At the end it weighs you and tells you your BMI.

NOTE: This is where my HOLY SHIT moment comes in!!

My weight..........

223!!

HOLY SHIT!!!

I am about 93 pounds shy of my goal weight!!
That sure sounds better than "I need to lose 210 pounds!"

WOW!!!

Girls Cruise

Ok so I went to see Hot Doc, aka Dr. Takemyfatawaynow! (More on that visit in another blog!)

I wasn't really looking forward to my appointment because I had spent the previous week consuming many "liquid calories"! Yes folks, I drank! I drank a lot actually. I even did a few shots! Yes, I know Hot Doc said "no shots, no alcohol, no carbonation, avoid ice cream, avoid pizza, avoid anything tasty".. Ok, he didn't say the last one but you get the idea.

Well I blew all the rules on my recent girls cruise...

I drank LOTS. I even drank some beer.

Ok, I didn't actually drink it. I took a big gulp and let it sit in my mouth until it absorbed away. (I know... GENIOUS!!)

I drank margaritas (2 at a time) and mexican water (tequila).
I drank wine... oh how I missed you pinot grigio!
I drank mojitos.
I drank sweet tea vodka.
I drank vodka with cranberry.
I drank things that people fixed me that were super yummy!
I had shots called buttery nipples and shots called lemon drops.

I forgot to mention that the Bartender bought ME a few drinks!!! Is that even possible?? I haven't had anyone, male wise, buy me drinks in years! I asked him why he wouldn't let me pay for it and he said "I think you are a very pretty lady!!" What? HOLY SHIT!!!

I have to say that was a great line!!

Yes folks, I went on my girls cruise and I drank everyday!
Now, when you haven't really drank for 5 months and then all of a sudden that is what you do for most of the evening... yeah you can guess.. I was pretty hammered.

I was so drunk I got on stage and did karaoke!
What was the song choice you ask? Baby Got Back!
Now imagine for a moment, 8 married ladies in matching t shirts and purple cowboy hats, singing Baby Got Back. (Last I checked, we were NOT on Youtube but I am sure there is video out there somewhere! Why do I think that? Every where we went... people knew we were the "Purple hat ladies from karaoke!")
Oh, did I mention that was the FIRST night of our cruise??

Just imagine the rest of the cruise...

There was a club called "Stripes" on the ship and, except for 1 or 2 nights, I was in there everynight until it closed at 3! (This is where the pizza and ice cream come into play!)

Oh and I met the weirdest man on earth in Stripes. Yes, I had my ego pumped by my cute bartender Alan (A lon) and shot down by creepy guy. I think this man was traveling by himself but I am really not sure. All I know is that when LK, LH and CM were being hit on by Hot guys, I had creepy man on my side. Oh joy!

Do you know what his pick up line to me was?

Are you ready for it?

It is probably the worst pick up line in history!

"In my country... boobs are taxed!"

Yes folks it was one of those moments when you realize that no amount of alcohol is going to make that sound any better. Would you like to know what my reply was??

"In my country... boobs are free unless you want bigger ones or no longer want them hitting the floor!" 

Yes, I know it was stupid but did I mention I was not able to feel my lips at this point??

Well even in my drunken stuper I was able to attract the creepy guy and my line made him like me even more... Oh joy oh joy oh joy!

Everytime I saw him after that, he stroked my arm when he spoke to me.
I wonder if that is why I took a shower after every encounter or frantically searched for hand sanitizer......

Everytime creepy man tried to dance with me, my friends LK, LH & CM would grab my hand and lead me onto the dance floor, where even I was able to dance with boys that were 22 & 23.

Hey, we were just dancing and who am I to turn down some hot boys? If they choose to dance with me, then I chose to dance right back with them. Of course, I had to leave the dance floor several times to "go sit down". But that is what you should say when you can no longer feel your lips, feet or hands.

All in all, we had a lovely time and I came home with 5 new Facebook friends.

Is it a bad idea that I came home and wanted to go to San Antonio to visit a roller rink?? Yeah probably is... those boys were pretty hot though!

Even if I am old enough to be their mother......

Hello Sunshine!

I have not written here in a while because I have been on vacation for what seems like forever.

I went on vacation first with my family. We flew to Puerto Rico on a Thursday and spent a few wonderful sun soaked days at a resort in Dorado. Then on Sunday (16th) we boarded the Carnival Victory. I had heard that she was an older ship and I probably wouldn't like her as much as the Conquest. Well the person that said that can kiss my (hopefully shrinking) ass! That ship was fabulous! The cabins were huge and the crew was just as friendly as on the newer ships. I have no complaints at all to report on the Victory except for the fact that I couldn't afford to stay on for another week.
The stops were St. Thomas, Barbados, St. Lucia, St. Kitts and St. Maarten. I have now decided that if I were to be kidnapped and whisked away I would prefer it to be to St. Kitts or St. Maarten. I loved the other islands but those were my favorite. We saw St. Kitts on what used to be the "sugar train". It is been converted into a "scenic railway". Oh so pretty! Of course, had I known that the train a few days earlier had de-railed I might have not chosen such a unique way to see the island. Good thing I didn't research as much as I usually do. In St. Maarten I visited the Guavaberry Imporium and bought myself a guavaberry colada. OMG!! Seriously, I needed some "assistance" from my spouse to get my ass back to the water taxi. I regret not buying a bottle of guavaberry rum. I guess this means that I will have to go back... hopefully sooner than later!
My family had a fabulous time and even though my youngest LOST his brand new DSi and 5 freakin' games, I wouldn't have changed a thing. The whole vacation was perfect. The kids started to bicker one day and I said "That's it! I'm done with this behavior! This is the last damn vacation I am EVER planning for you people!!", then I walked out of the cabin for a while. When I returned, everyones attitudes had changed drastically! Who knew a little meltdown on my part would rejuvinate my family??
All in all the kids missed 5 days of school, even though we were gone for longer. ;)
When we came home I had 5 days before I was to leave again for my girl's trip.
Would you care to guess which one I had more fun on???