What do I do??

Have you ever just had one of those days, no wait, weeks??

I know this blog is suppose to be about weight loss but today it is about motherhood.

I find myself on the end of a short rope of patience.

How is this even possible?

You see I struggled with infertility. I mean we did infertility for 6 years before our 11 year old was born. A year after her birth, we decided to try again. (Just in case it took another 6 years!) Well it didn't take 6 this time. H was 2 1/2 when K, L & D were born. Baby h came along after we got rid of all the baby stuff to Goodwill. Ironically K, L & D were 2 1/2 when baby h was born. So I found myself feeling as if my cup runeth over. I had 5 beautiful healthy children that were 5 and younger.

So now that we have the ages 11, 8, 8, 8 and 5 I seem to finding myself regretting the time of day when I have to pick them up from school.

How can someone who wanted kids so badly end up feeling like this?
Somedays I wonder if I need therapy. Seriously, who spends all that money on fertility because they couldn't wait to be a mom and then now all they can think about is when they will be able to escape for a few days??

I am dealing with homework, sports schedules and the ever present non-compliant child.
I feel like I have tried everything I can think of to help my children succeed.
I save all the time so my children are able to play the sport they want.
I make their lunch everyday.
I help them with breakfast everyday.
I help them find clothes everyday.
I drive them to school everyday.
I pick them up from school everyday.
I go over their folders everyday.
I help them with their homework everyday.
I make them dinner everyday.
I drive them to their specific sports activities during the week.
I even get excited when it is time to pick them up because I have missed them all day.

AND THEN

IT HITS.........
THE WHINING!! THE FIGHTING!! THE COMPLAINING!! THE TATTLING!! THE MELTS!! (This is what I call it when the child in question suddenly loses all feeling in his/her legs and "melts" into the floor!)

• I have a child that doesn't want to follow the rules at school or at home.
• I have a spouse that acts like a helicopter to said child.
• I have a child that gets into trouble at school but acts like an angel (most of the time) at home.
• I have a child that acts perfect at school but is now pre-hormonal, so the behavior is reminisent of something from outerspace.
• I have a child that constantly wants to follow me, touch me, just in general be near me. This child is perfect at school. This child just seems to need a little extra from me but it is hard to give because of the fights this child starts at home.
• I have a child that acts perfect at school and at home but yet I find I am not spending enough time with this child because there is no "immediate need" there.

My time is constantly spent on child who doesn't want to follow rules at school or at home.

What do I do???

I feel like I should spend more time on the children that are acting good rather than the one that isn't. How can I divide myself up and at the same time not let anyone down?? If I don't spend so much time on the one that acts bad, how will they succeed at school? If it weren't for me this child would be failing!

How am I able to do this? I feel myself feeling really old lately.
I am worn down and drained mentally and physically.
I want my children to know I love them.

I find myself praying a lot hoping this is just some passing phase.......

This is where motherhood meets weight loss struggle.

Back in the old days.... well back about 7 months ago I would just go into the kitchen and start stress eating. These days I am finding myself starting up the bad habits. I ate a mini candy bar the other day because I felt like that 100 grand bar knew my pain. That candy bar could somehow realize what I was going through. Yes, I felt sick later but at the moment of crisis I didn't care. What do "normal" people do? I can't just pack everyone in the van and head to the gym.

So what do I do?
Should I just suck it up and slap myself in the face?
Should I start increasing my wine consumption in the evening?

Is there any advice out there for a mother that feels like she is drowning in her own pity party??