Your Daily Horoscope
Too much running around might have you feeling exhausted and under the weather today, Cancer. You may have been exercising a little too much. Therefore, this is a good day to avoid exercise and get some rest. Don't push yourself too hard! This isn't a good day to plan or start a vacation. Wait a few days, as trips planned at this time could be fraught with glitches.
This is my honest to goodness horoscope for today. I wonder if somewhere in the universe someone is telling me to slow down. I have not weighed myself for fear of the number. I have been good and avoiding the candy but I find myself wanting to cheat. I know I will be sick for days but I really want that damn butterfinger that is staring at me. It's as if it is saying... "Eat me Kim! You know I am worth the little pain you will feel later! You know you want me more than the Snickers. Oh... and since there is no $100,000 bar around, eat me!!" Instead I grab my water with crystal light and pretend it is the same.
I did go to CVS and buy some more crack to help me out. (For those new to reading this: Crack = Ice Breakers sugar free gum!) I haven't been able to find the big container and the other night I had to go into CVS to buy some damn pull ups. It's like when I was dragging my fat ass to the register, all of a sudden there it was. It was kinda like someone was pointing a flashlight down on the container. I must have looked like a crazy lady. I think I almost kissed the container before I set it down on the counter. The lady at the register asked me if I was ok and I said... "I am now that I found some crack!" After seeing the concerned look on her face I thought it might be a good idea to explain that to me sugar free gum is my crack. It got me through my diet shake days so maybe it will get me through my "woe is me" days.
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