October 5, 2010

Ok, I know this probably sounds like an oxymoron but if you are one of my skinny friends... STOP READING because you will have no idea what I am talking about later on in my story.
(I say oxymoron because most fat people don't have skinny friends. I actually have LOTS of skinny friends.. SHOCKING I KNOW but true!)

Ok so today I went to the mall after getting x rays done to see if I broke my ankle. Yes, I know I shouldn't be walking around the mall with a possible broken ankle but the splint (glorified sewn up ace bandage) they put on my foot actually makes my foot feel much better.
Besides, have you ever looked in the mirror and said "Shit! This bra makes my boobs look terrible!" Well today was one of those days. Actually I looked pretty bad today but decided to head to the mall anyways.

You see I have maintained the same weight for weeks now (really starting to piss me off) but I feel like I might be loosing inches because that is what my friend said. haha
So the pants that I am able to wear are looking BAD. They aren't falling off because of my "triplet hangover" aka butt in the front but they are LOOSE. So I decided that with this nice Fall weather that has me sneezing every 5 minutes, that I should get a pair of jeans.
This time last year my jeans were a size 30/32 (NO that does not mean 30 waist and 32 inseam for my skinny friends!)I mean the size was a 30/32 which is just over 26/28, 22/24, 20, 18, 16, 14, 12, etc..
So I walk into Macy and grab a 24. Immediately I think.. "This is not going to fit. They never fit. I am just setting myself up for dissapointment. I probably need a 26 which is not sold here."
Well I go into the dressing room and the jeans just don't feel right so I go and grab a 22. Again... not quite right so I grab a 20. Now imagine you are me for a second...
The last pair of jeans you wore were a 30/32 and you now have a pair of size 20 in your hands.
What would you think??? Me?? I thought about each step one by one.

Step 1.. get one leg in. CHECK
Step 2.. get the other leg in. CHECK
Step 3.. the "Pull up" to the waist. CHECK
Step 4.. the tricky part.. tucking in the butt in the front. CHECK
Step 5.. button the jeans while standing. CHECK
Step 6.. zip jeans, while standing. CHECK
Step 7.. breathe.... and stand in shock....... CHECK CHECK CHECK

A size 20P (petite for short)jeans fit, buttoned and zipped up and I could still breathe!

Do they look perfect? NO because I still have my butt in the front and it is very apparent in these jeans.

Do I care? No, not really because they freakin fit! Sometimes you just have to say WTF!

So after my size 20 jean and a few 1x tops purchase I walked over to the bra area.

The lady gave me a "once over" and asked half heartedly if she could help me. I said I was there to purchase a new bra and guess what she said??

Did she say.. What is your size dear? NO
Did she say.. What is your preferred brand? NO

Instead she said.. "We don't have your size but you can try Dillards!"

So I looked at her with my own "once over" and said "We'll see about that!"

So I walk over to the Wacoal section and pick out a size that should work out.

Saleslady walks over to me as I make my way to the fitting room and says... "Um, m'am those bras are $58."
My reply??
"Oh, then I guess they lowered their prices!"

As I walk into the fitting room I notice a friend of mine that I haven't seen in a while. (Shout out KF)

I go into my own room after a nice chat and prepare for battle.

I fully expected the straps to fling off my arms and the fasteners in the back to start shooting around the room like bullets.
Instead, I hooked the bra with little to no problem. I got the boobs in the right place. And I did it all with no complications or flying shrapnel.

As I walked confidently to the cashier the lady said "Oh? That fit?"
I replied back "Why yes it did and nobody was hurt in the process!"

All in all I think this was a successful day even if the damn scale isn't cooperating.