August 24, 2010

A week ago yesterday I had my surgery. I expected this to be an easy recovery and so far it is anything but. I hurt but the hurting is not from surgery points. I am hurting with cramps. Yes, I am still cramping! It hurts like hell. Tomorrow I will get this unexpected drain tube out. At one point I am super thrilled and on another I am scared shitless. I see that it is stitched to my chest so the idea of how they are taking it out is nerve racking. How on earth are they going to take this thing out?? Better yet, will my friend LK hold my hand? Does a 40 year old need to hold someone's hand? I am afraid I might because I have been googling up a storm and can't find anything on how they remove these things!

On a side note today was the first day of school. It was also the day that RK went home. So today is a day that I am a ball of emotions. I told myself I wasn't going to cry but I found myself having a little pity party for one.
h started Kindergarten and after meeting his teacher and talking up the classroom, teacher and everything else I could think of we find out this morning that they put him in a different classroom. I was so sad because h is the one kid that doesn't do well with change. So to say that his morning started off good would be a lie. In fact when I left he was laying down in the middle of the floor of his new classroom.
kld did much better. It seems like just yesterday I was bringing each of them home individually from the NICU. Now they are in the 3rd grade and will be 8 tomorrow.
TOMORROW!! What kind of parent "forgets" about their kids birthday? I guess I just kinda figured we would do something a little later on. Now here it is and POOF nothing is planned! I hope I feel better so I can be apart of my family's life again...
H started 5th grade today and that was bitter sweet. I remember crying when she was starting Kindergarten. Come to think of it, she is the only one that I cried for when they started Kindergarten. Why is that? Is it because she is the oldest? I wonder?

At any rate, here I am.. talking to my diary again. I weighed yesterday and the scale said 306. I am so excited. It seems that the 2's are right around the corner.
Now it is time to remind myself... I can do this. I can do this. The pain has kicked my ass but I can do this! I KNOW I CAN!!