September 1, 2010

This morning's scale report is brought to you by Kim's (not so fat) ass....

290!!

WOW!

Ok, so yesterday I went to my 2 week post op appt.

First, I get the joy of driving back to Dallas. I left the intermediate school at 8:15. My appt was for 9:45. With traffic and a little meltdown in the parking garage, I signed in at 9:40!

Ok, I'll back up to the meltdown..
If you know me then you know that I drive a big ass van! Seriously people I drive a 15 passenger van. Now, imagine you are at the drivers seat of said van and you have to park in an UNDERGROUND parking garage. Yeah, I bet you would be FREAKIN' out too. I drove down 2 flights to the valet and said... "TAKE IT BECAUSE I CAN'T DO THIS ANY LONGER!!"

Then I go up and around and around again to find the correct elevator. As soon as I was about to just sit and cry a very nice senior citizen offered to help me. Ok, no handsome doctor this time but Ethel was very nice. Once I got into the drs office I had to get my legs sonogramed again. The lady, Candace, remembered me and said that she was so happy to see me again. When I was leaving I told her it was nice to meet her and she got a puzzled look on her face. I then proceeded to tell her that I would be visiting the Ft. Worth office from now on. She genuinely looked sad. I went back to the waiting room to wait on Dr. B. I was called in again and told to go to exam room 2. While walking over there, Candace asked if she could give me a hug. This time I looked puzzled. She told me that I was so friendly and so nice and she just loved me and was going to miss me. I told her "Bless your heart sweetie. I can come back here if you would like." I think I was in shock as I went to sit in the exam room. Apparently Dr. B saw all of this as he walked in the room. He looked at me and said.. "Do you have this effect on everyone you meet?" I said... Why? Do you feel like hugging me too? He said "I think I would be sad if you left to see another doctor." My reply... Well then good thing I like you! haha He then proceeded to tell me that NONE of his other patients have ever got that reaction before. I told him.. "Well I guess I am not only cute, but nice too!" haha(loud robust laughing from Dr. B)


After that he asked me how I was doing and I said "ok." He told me that didn't sound convincing and asked me if your friend was in here what would your reply have been? I said I would have told her "like SHIT!". He proceeded to ask me why and I told him that although I enjoyed the rectum lesson the last time, it was not helping my situation.
I did explain to him that I finally went poo and he asked me what it looked like. I was like WHAT? He told me that he knew I looked at it and he wanted to know what it looked like. So I said the following (try not to laugh)... When you look at a picture of the small intestine then you will know how it looked. He asked me if I was serious and I just gave him the look. Then he asked me what the consistency was. I told him that I honestly didn't know because I didn't touch it but it reminded me of cat poo. "Kim, do you have any cats?" No, I am a dog person but that is what it reminded me of. haha Can you guess what came next... if you guessed a lesson on the colon then you would be correct (and probably a little unstable for guessing that). I will try to explain it in Cliff Notes Version. Apparently your colon is T H I S long and I only pooped out 1/2 that amount. Once I poop out the other 1/2 I will feel much better. Then I coughed. He asked me how long I had been doing that and I told him since I left the hospital. He then proceeded to ask me if I ever cough anything up with it and I said yes, that is why I carry tissue. Next question? "What's it look like?" I said "I don't know, you would have to ask the tissue." haha
He then said that I probably have a case of bronchitis and he will call me in a prescription. He looked at my incisions and said that they looked great to which I replied.. Bragger. haha I then asked if I could remove my guaze and replace it with water proof band aids. So then he gave me that look and I told him that I joined a gym but I think it only works if you actually go. He said he wouldn't really recommend it but if I felt good enough to go ahead. He also reminded me to try to take in enough calories so I wouldn't be burning everything I was taking in. I then told him not to miss me too much until I saw him again. He took my hand to shake it and said... "I am so glad to see that you are getting your spunk back because you are like a breath of fresh air." Aaahhhhh how sweet. I leave his office feeling pretty good and I wait in the waiting room for the lab lady. I was sitting in there talking with a man who lost 180pounds and they were there for their pre op appt for his wife. The older lady across from me said that she was there for her 1 year check up and she had lost 150 pounds. This granny was sharp dressed! I said.. Good for you, what did your husband say? Was he for it? She looked at me and said "Nope he was against it. That's why I waited until he passed. I'm going to get a tatoo next month!" (YES folks it happened again with the Vitamin Water Zero.... out the mouth and nose as I snorted while laughing!) We were then told that the lab in the office ran out of blood tubes so we were going to have to walk to the Barnett Tower. (I immediately thought SHIT FIRE!! That is where I got lost last time!!!) My new granny friend and another lady suggested we just walk together so we did without any wrong turns. I made my way back to the Sammons tower when I was done and out to the parking garage where I made it out alive!

Now, I don't want to say I have a crush on my doctor but I can tell you this! Everytime I go there he makes me laugh. That's it... someone who can make me laugh... that is what does it for me. It's not money, looks, fast car or Italian Villas... it is a sense of humor and my doc has the best.

(In case you were wondering the other 1/2 of my colon came calling in the middle of Kroger. Thank GOD I had H with me. She held my purse and watched the cart for me as I ran with my legs practically tucked under. After that I ran through FasTaco's drive thru, went home, ate the meat out of one and 1/4 tacos and went to bed.)

So in case you are wondering.. yes I attempted exercise today. I went to the Y and did some water aerobics with the senior crowd. One lady looked at me and said... "I think I am in the wrong class, I thought this was Arthritis Splash." Oh, imagine my thoughts..........................................
Then this nice and VERY fit grey haired lady explained to me everything that was going on. I should have asked for her name because I can tell you that I couldn't keep up. When I was done all I wanted to do, after I sat in the whirlpool, was go home and take a nap. Instead I called my friend LK and stayed on the phone with her for about 1 1/2 hours.
I ran up to the school to see if I could help out and some of the PTA ladies said they were going to Mimis and did I feel like going. I jumped in BW car so fast I couldn't stand it. I ordered the crab cake appetizer. When I got it I thought, this I can do because there are 3 mini crab cakes here with a small salad. I skipped the salad because I can't have raw fruits and veggies. I sat there as long as everyone else and all I ate was 1/2 of ONE. I was stuffed and could not possibly eat anymore. This is really wierd and TOTALLY cool. Everyday I feel more and more better that this surgery was the best solution for me. I just can't wait to be FREE from excess fat. :)

Tomorrow I will be selling t-shirts at the school in the morning wearing my new spirit shirt that FITS!! My friend AG said that I should get the XL because the shirts run kinda big. I dont care if they run big. I am wearing a shirt with ONLY 1 X in the size.

If you knew how huge this feels then you would be jumping up and down and joining me for water aerobics in the am!

YEAH ME!!!