July 23, 2010

Ok so I am in Austin for some PTA shit.
I was here last year so I didn't think I had to go this year.

I am looking around at all the vendors and I am not thinking PTA. Instead I am thinking FWMOM. I have more loyalties to my Mothers of Multiples then I do my PTA. I saw some shirts today that I would love to have as a club shirt! I guess you could say that I am multi-tasking.

Back to Austin... I am suppose to be continuing my liquid diet and unless you consider alchohol liquid... then I am not following directions.

Today I have had a breakfast from the hotel, a Starbucks, a fruit cup for lunch and for dinner I had the following..

PF Changs Mongolian Beef, egg drop soup, chicken lettuce wrap, an "organic" margarita (made with 2 SHOTS of PITRON!!) and 4 martinis with 88 in the title.

After dinner I followed the other PTA moms to see some bats fly out from under a highway... I SHIT YOU NOT...

I sat in the grass, got 7 bites from some "unknown creature" and decided it was time to go. Forgive me for being rude but I saw the bats leave the caverns in Carlsbad, NM LOTS of times so if you expect me to sit in this grass and wait for the bats then you must be drunker than me because I am OUT OF HERE!!

After the "ficticous" bats didn't show up the other 3 people I were with decided to have another drink. We chose a Mexican restaurant and I had a margarita and something called a "Mexican Opal". Now, to be honest, I have never ordered anything EVA with the world Opal in it. (Always been told opals were bad luck if they weren't your birthstone.)
At any rate, after a sip I knew it was going to be my next drink after my strong ass margarita.

Let me just say that once I finished that "opal" drink I had to walk back to my hotel.

Now here I am, sitting in my hotel room, typing on my roomies computer thinking... "Why the hell can I not feel my teeth???"

July 22 part 3

Ok, got some bad news....

Baylor Dallas can't accomodate me until the 16th.

BUMMER BUMMER BUMMER

At least it is still scheduled.

LK & GP are you ok for the 16th?? I Love You guys!!

July 22, 2010

Drum roll please............................

LK & GP... I LOVE YOU 2 BEAUTIFUL LADIES!!!!!!!
Are y'all ready to take a drive to Dallas???

I am "tentatively scheduled" for MONDAY AUGUST 9th!!!!

Which ironically is the same week that HKLD are doing the sports camp in North Richland Hills. Oh well, G is not on board with this futurehotmommatrain so I guess he can take them!

So how many want to start a wager that his butt will be on board once I turn into the hotmomma??? :)

July 22, 2010

_ _ 0!!!!!!!!!!!

I can freakin' believe it!!
4 pounds down!!!

I am so excited!!!

I wish I could figure out how to change my fonts again because that zero would have been so fucking large!!

Now, all I have to do is keep drinking water and chewing my crack... gum until my appt at 12:15!!!!

I can't wait to show skinnybitch that I have NOT maintained!!!

Woooo Whooooooo!!!!!

July 21, 2010

Ok, today I stepped on the scale and it said _ _ 4!! I am so pumped!!
I really thought it would be a much higher number. Now all I have to do is maintain that or go down further for tomorrow.

Oh gosh, I am so nervous! I got a call from skinnybitch and she told me that my protein was still too low. WTF?? I honestly don't get it. How can it be low? Whenever I eat... which isn't often... it ALWAYS consists of meat. Now on top of everything else, I have to start taking a protein supplement. GREAT!

Isopure Zero Carb™ (20 oz) apparently has 40 grams of protein and 160 calories!!
Man this sucks!

I feel like everytime I find a hurdle I trip over it. (High school gym class memories all over again!)

Goodness gracious.
Well today I have had 1 slimfast and about 6 pieces of my crack... gum.

Tonight for dinner will be the largest glass of lemon flavored water i can handle.
G and h will have nachos. There is no way that I can walk into BWW tonight!!

Wish me luck on not grabbing a straw when I heat up that creamy cheese!!

Please pray for me tomorrow... Dr. Takemyfatawaynow is GOING to schedule my surgery. Please pray for sooner than later and please do not tell him I am buying a bottle of sweet tea vodka before I go out of town this weekend!!

July 20, cont.

Ok... mexican food, 4 margaritas (one frozen mango and 3 on the rocks) and then a shiner draft.

You would think I would be out of my funk but I am not. I still feel funked out.

Going to bed now... somewhere.... h apparently fell asleep with G because he is sprawled out on my side.

Oh goodness me....

July 20, 2010

Ok, today is just ok. I did weigh myself and it was _ _ 5 which is what it has been for about 3 days now.

However, for some reason today I feel like I want to drive off a cliff. The reason... doesn't really matter and can't be talked about.

This is a bad day and I feel as if I have nobody to talk to.
I have spent the last hour just crying.

I am in a funk and I hope that margaritas and mexican food can pull me out tonight.

July 19, 2010

Scale... _ _ 6!
SHIT!!!
I knew I shouldn't have gone to Babe's.
Today I will drink a TON of water and forget dinner all together. That should help SOMEHOW!!

Today I also woke up at 11! I had to rush to get h and I ready because he is going to museum school this week.

While at museum school, G calls me and says that he wants to take me to dinner. I try to explain to him that it's not a good idea but where did he have planned? (In only took me a second to realize that G NEVER says.. Hey let's go to dinner..... unless it is Tuesday, where kids eat free at Hooters! So I figured I should go ahead and jump on that bandwagon!)

His choice for dinner......... SIMPLY FONDUE!! Oh gosh.... Is he trying to be nice and take me to another birthday dinner OR is he trying to be like the saboteur on Big Brother? I will take my chances and hope he is being nice.

While at Simply Fondue I knew I was going to try the "sweet tea martini" because LK has raved about it forever! Just so happens... Monday is 2 for 1 martini night.... WOO WHOOO.... I am having 2!

We start off with the salad, then the cheese............. OH GOODNESS is it good. I try to stick with the vegetables mainly in part because h is trying to steal all the bread....... Next the "cook your own food part".... Ok the sauces that they bring are good but that creamy horseradish needs it's own bowl....yummy!! So I cook mine and h's food and I glance over at G. There is no way he will ever say how much he is enjoying himself because this place is really pricey.... However, he sure does look happy!!! Next up... CHOCOLATE!!! I pick the Pecan Caramel Swirl. I love milk chocolate, caramel and pecans so this choice was easy. I spear my apple and dunk with pride. I coated EVERY surface of that apple! First bite was just too much. I tried to eat some more but it was just too sweet. I think I speared 3 things total when I surrendered. It was just too much for me. G and h seemed so happy to know that they weren't going to have to share that chocolate with me. I think at one point they were both scrapping the bowl with their fingers.

DELICIOUS DINNER!!!!

When we got home I started thinking about Texas de Brazil because once again... stuck in the bathroom. (At least I made it home this time before it hit!)

All through the night I had to get up and go again. At one point I tried to grab the AD medicine and unfortunately grabbed the laxatives instead.

NOTE TO SELF: When you wake up in the middle of the night OVER AND OVER again to go #2 the LAST thing you want to grab is a laxative.... It makes for a LONG night with not much sleep!

July 18, 2010

So last night h and I spent the night in Granbury because today I am dropping H off at Girl Scout camp. L is going to Girl Scout camp also but her's is on the other side of Azle and H's is in Nemo, which is not too far from Granbury.

G and L got a ride home from M&M so now they are home and I am in Granbury at my mom's house. I love visiting with my mom when all the kids have gone to sleep. It seems like the only time we can talk and I'm not stressing over anyone "destroying" her house. Apparantly we haven't talked much lately because I went to be at 3! Now, I knew I would be sharing a bed with H and thought... Ok, she has slept with us a few times.... this won't be too bad. WRONG!!! I am not sure but I think she was dreaming that she was doing somersaults or something. One minute I was being punched in the face and the next I was being punched in the feet. Ohhhhhhh man. At 7, after being punched in my sore foot, I got up to pee and get a glass of water. H comes into the kitchen and says... "I am wide awake! I slept soooo good!" I told her... Good for you. Now try not to make any noise because I would prefer if h stayed asleep for a while longer and I am tired!

At 11 my mom woke me up and said.. "We're taking you to Babe's today for your birthday. Papa will come back with the boys (all 3??) and we can take H to camp."

Part of me wanted to JUMP out of bed. I FREAKIN' LOVE BABE'S chicken. Here is the problem... today I am suppose to start my slimfast all day thing.
I call my friend who was arranging a birthday dinner for Monday and tell her I can't go. I am already going out to eat Tuesday so there is NO way I can do this 3 days in a row before my appt.

When we got to Babe's I knew I was going to order the fried chicken. Yes, I know it is fried... probably the worst thing ever to order. However, if you have ever put their chicken in your mouth then you know you are on to something soooo good. Not to mention their sides that come with it. They start you off with a homemade buttermilk biscuit. My family LOVES to smother theirs in butter, syrup and/or sorgham. I opted for just butter. Sorry, I know that is bad but those biscuits are fresh out of the oven and the butter melts on it in a way that reminds you of hot caramel sliding down cold ice cream. While you are having a relationship with your biscuit they bring you the salad. I am not sure what they make their dressing with but I nearly grabbed my straw from my cup so I wouldn't have to waste any but I got the disapproving look from the other members of my family. When they bring you your food it is served family style. They bring homemade green beans, cream corn, mashed potatoes and gravy. Now this isn't the gravy you are thinking of unless you grew up in the South with a traditional grandma. This IS your Southern Baptist's Grandma's Gravy (or at least it was mine... I still miss you Nana!) Oh, that gravy is like the salad dressing... just give me a spoon and I will pretend it is soup. Oh my... it is THAT good. Then once you have sampled all that it is time for the chicken. That first taste that you have to rip off with your fingers because it is so hot. The super crunchy outside seasoned to perfection with that nice moist inside. YUMMY! Total perfection!! I want Babe's Chicken dinner to be my last meal!

As I hobbled back to the van I was so greatful that Papa decided to take h back home with him so H, Ma and I could take H to camp by ourselves. THANK YOU PAPA!!! YOU ARE THE BEST!!

H had informed me earlier in the day that her fan was no longer working so I had already promised her a trip to Wal-Mart.

Ok... now before I go any further let me tell you that the one place I hate more than any other is Wal-Mart! I hate the people that shop there (Please... people... wear some clothes that fit, aren't stained in mysterious places and preferrably match... Oh and if you are shopping at midnight with your slippers on and your babies in tow... DO NOT get mad at your babies for crying... IT IS MIDNIGHT DUMBASS, go home and put those babies to bed... WAL-MART will unfortunately be here tomorrow!!!) Ok, off my soap box!!

Thankfully, it was around 2 in the afternoon when we walked into Wally World to find H a new fan and water bottle. Get the fan, get the water bottle, get sunscreen for the boys and get the hell out of their as quick as possible.

Next stop... SONIC because it is 1/2 price drink time!!
Yes, I just ate a HUGE lunch but that lemon slush is screaming out to me. The first drink I have, I thought I was going to gag because it is sweeter than I remember. Then I realize it is probably over 100 degrees and I welcome that sweet icy cold drink.
I also got 2 ice waters so I could fill up H's fan and water bottle.

Drive to Nemo and park outside the gate with the AIR ON!!
Once they open the gate we get her checked in and then I buy her something from the little camp store. (It will be delivered by PONY EXPRESS on Wed.... too cool!)

Check her into her tent cabin, scrape the 30 daddy longlegs off her nightstand. I do the same for her roommate because that little girls mom told her.... "THERE is NO Way I am touching that thing!" HEY LADY.... OR SHOULD I SAY... HEY DUMBASS.... YOUR DAUGHTER IS GOING TO BE HERE FOR 6 DAYS... TRY NOT TO FREAK HER OUT ON THE FIRST ONE!!!

Kiss H goodbye and remind her that Ma will pick her up Friday because I will be in Austin.

We go back to Ma's and visit until 11. I was going to spend the night again but h kept talking about how he wanted to stay at Ma's house and I figured it would be easier on him if we just went home.

July 17, 2010

Ok, so today was chaotic!!!

I didn't feel good last night so I have waited until today to pack 4 kids for 1 week!! FUN TIMES!!

Oh, did I mention we are going to have a family picnic in Granbury at my sister's in-laws house and we need to be there at 4?

So I gather all H's stuff first. Match outfits and throw them into suitcase. Next her toiletry bag and sleeping stuff. DONE

Next will be L. Same routine. DONE

K & D are next.... I was on a roll when D says "K and I aren't going to have ANY of the same shirts are we. I don't want to match him!"
Um, no not so much... maybe just a few.... Oh, ok. a few outfits but that is it! Ma likes you guys matching. She thinks it is cute. "FINE!"

K & D are DONE.

During this process, I have put the nacho cheese in the crockpot and H has decided to make my Butter Rum Pound Cake. One small thing I should tell her next time.... If we have to be somewhere at 4 and it takes 40-45 min to get there then maybe it is not a good idea to pick a recipe that takes an hour to cook when you put it in the oven at 2:45! Just sayin'!

So I call PeePaw and tell him we are going to be late. I absolutely HATE being late and just can't handle it AT ALL!! He told me not to worry about it.

While we were doing all of this, where was G you ask... Installing my toilet!! That's right. He didn't install it before because of some holes that he found under the other one. He had stopped at Lowes earlier in the week and bought the stuff to fix it. YEAH G!!

So we are all dressed and packed and G is getting in the shower. So I said, hey lets empty all the pool stuff from the van so we have room for the suitcases. When I went outside, I forgot that my garage door was open. (I had opened it for my neighbor so he could borrow my mower.) Well we found a little bird had stepped onto our glue trap that is in the garage. Great! It is already 4, the cake is done, the nacho cheese is melted, the van is packed and now we can't leave because a helpless little bird stepped on a glue trap.
Now, I am not one that cries over stupid birds. In fact, I HATE birds. I always have and probably always will. (I remember refusing to stay at my friends house in highschool because she had a freakin' bird in HER ROOM!!)
Birds, baloons... yeah they rate right up there with a brazilian wax. NO THANKS

So, here I now have 5 kids crying that "birdie" will starve to death because he is trapped on this sticky stuff. Great! Now the kids have named it. THINK QUICK KIM THINK QUICK. I tell H to run inside and get a plastic knife and I get the hose turned on. I decided it might be smart if I went down the foot while H gently lifts the foot up and cuts away at the glue. (I also have the hose to spray the birds face if he even tries to peck at H. I understand he is scared but if he pecks H he is going DOWN!!)
Well it works and as soon as we get his foot free he freaks out and gets the other foot and half his body on the trap. SHIT!!! I HATE BIRDS!!! THIS STUPID BIRD IS GOING TO MAKE ME LATER!!!!

Keep irate feelings to myself and we go to surgery again. I didn't realize the bird was free until he took off running with a plastic knife attached to his back. I told H "QUICK grab the knife!". Before I got all the words out, he ran under the bushes. D looks up and says "For Pete's sake!" So H opened up the bushes so D could see and he pulled the knife. That little bird gave a few chirps but there was no feathers on the knife at all so D did great! As I went inside to tell G we were all ready and what had just happened, that little bird flew out of the bushes and buzzed my head. I am not sure if he was saying thank you or if he was trying to shit on me but either way he got my attention and he flew off.

We got to Mimi & PeePaws house at 5:30 and had a great time. It was great to see my brother, his wife (note to M & M.... babies soon please!!!), my neice & nephew, my sister and her husband. Once again my sister brought her friends along. I know this shouldn't bother me but it kinda does. Her friends' son calls my sister "Aunt" and my kids wonder what state she lives in because we only seem to see her on holidays. (Note... she lives about 30 min away)
Oh well, made the most of it.

Dinner tonight....
Grilled hamburger, no bun, with mango salsa on top
Nachos and countless deviled eggs. Seriously, I don't know how my brother's wife makes them but she is a Genius when it comes to deviled eggs! YUMMY!
I also had one slice of my pound cake and a helping of pasta salad.

July 16, 2010

Ok, so today I step on the scale and it is _ _ 5. Ok, so I am maintaining AGAIN. I did have 2 cupcakes so I am not that surprised that I didn't lose more.

For the day I took H to get her annual physical so she will be ready for camp.
I have to say that entertaining 4 kids in a cramped room is not the funnest time ever. Oh, all while trying to convince H that shots really don't hurt and the finger prick thing really is necessary. I personally think shots DON'T hurt at all but I would rather be tied down and hit with a 2x4 then have someone finger prick me! I hate that shit!!

So after H's dr appt we drive to the other side of downtown to get our circus tickets. It is kinda hard to get circus tickets when the window is not open! I am not sure if we needed to go inside or not but there was construction all by the entrance. I will try this again next week when I only have 1 kid at home.

Tonight's dinner..
TEXAS DE BRAZIL... my family's favorite.... or at least it was.
My kids LOVE their salad bar, including their lobster bisque, so when the lady said your table is upstairs I was like... WAIT HOLD THE PHONE!! Is there a salad bar upstairs? "uh.... no" Ok, then this table WILL NOT work for us. "Well, we are full tonight." Well, I don't know what to tell you except there is NO way a table upstairs will work for us. I think it could potentially be very bad for my kids visiting the salad bar. "Well... problem solved... we have an elevator!" Oh, wow, yeah still not good. Can you please find us one downstairs? "wait here, I doubt there is one but I will look!" (NOTE TO SELF: When smartass hostess of expensive restaurant says "Wait here because I doubt I will find you one downstairs." My first reaction is to say... Ok, if you can't find one then I volunteer YOU to help my children in the magical elevator with their salad plates and fighting over who is going to press the button!)
Never fear, snotty pants found us a table downstairs... of course it was UNDER the air vent but she found one.

I am not sure if I was ready to take on Texas de Brazil. I think I might should have chosen Simply Fondue instead. I only "sampled" 3 meats before I felt like I was going to explode. My family must have told our waiter it was my birthday because he brought out the dessert try and asked me to pick one. Knowing that I am not crazy about chocolate cake, I picked that one. When they brought it to me with a cute little candle in it I said thank you, made a wish, blew out the candle and sliced that sucker into 6 pieces. My kids LOVED my choice.

As we were walking the 2 blocks to the van I looked at G and said "I don't feel so well." Then h looked up at me and said... I GOTTA POOP RIGHT NOW!!!
Whew... saved by the 5 year old.
I sped my van downtown to the nearest fast food joint and ran in with h in tow. I think if I would have had to drive one more block.... things would not have turned out so well..... just sayin'.

By the time we got home, I went to bed.

Lesson for the day.... When you work your ass off only eating cucumbers and drinking nasty ass slimfast then it is a bad idea to think your system can handle Texas de Brazil.

I think this may be the last time we go there.............

July 15, 2010

WOW oh WOW today I am 40!

How did I spend my day you ask?

Got up at 6 so I could go to a 7 am dentist appointment. I schedule them early so that G can watch the kids for me before he goes to work.

After the cleaning.... (WHO the fuck invented that damn scaler??? They should be SHOT on sight!)

I was driving home when I noticed that my van was out of gas. So great... now I get to get gas... Woo Whoo... excitement here!!

While I was driving to get gas, LabCorp called me. It seems that they weren't able to get all the blood they needed last week and can I come in again?

SERIOUSLY?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???
I knew it! I just knew that man would screw up!!

Drive over to LabCorp and tell them I am NOT happy about being there again. They blame it on the "downtown" office needing more to sample. In my head I was thinking... "Why don't you just admit you screwed up! Now, here I am on what may be the shitiest birthday so far and you are standing there lying to ME!!!"
UUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!

So I drive home and G tells me that he is off to work. I REALLY thought he said he was taking the day off...................

Great! Now what?
My sweet girls bring me a cupcake while singing Happy Birthday to me!
Of course, I ate it. In fact, I ate 2!

Then we sat on the couch together and watched the recorded Big Brother and America's Got Talent results show........ Ok, maybe I am cold-hearted but I do NOT like those sisters who sing. I know they have health issues and singing is a big deal but I honestly thought that lady that painted was more talented! Oh.... off my soapbox now! ;)

So after we watched those 2 shows, we went to the pool. The boys didn't wanted to leave the comfort of tv viewing upstairs so they were less than thrilled. They asked me "Why do we have to go to the pool?"
My answer....... YUP!!!....... you guessed it................ BECAUSE I WANT TO GO AND TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

So off to the pool we went.
I bought 2 pizzas for the kids and a healthy subway for myself. I loaded the cooler with bottles of water and some capri suns.
After a huge dose of sunscreen we were off and swimming.

While at the pool my lovely children proceeded to tell everyone they ran into that "Mommy is 40 today!" Jee.... thanks kids.

We left the pool, came home, showered and left for VBS.
When I came home from VBS I took a nap.
I woke up to find a card from my friend SV that is good for a girls night out at the movies and a new box of crack... I mean sugarfree gum.

Then the world's best neighbor, SR, came over and brought me a card with a $40 gift card to STARBUCKS!!!!

I was talking with SR so long outside that I was late to pick up the kids from VBS.
When I walked into their VBS the kids were mad at me for being late but some of my friends were there and they were all greeting me with birthday wishes.

As soon as we got in the car.... CAN WE GO TO MOVIE NIGHT AT THE POOL???? was all 3 boys could say. The girls said they didn't want to go and I already said I didn't want to go so I called G and said... Whatever you are doing... you need to stop and take these boys because it is starting. Being the wonderful spouse that he is... he was home in less than 5 minutes... I am not sure what store he was at or what he was planning but taking the boys to the movie was a top priority for me at that point.

I decided to watch an old movie on tv while the girls played upstairs.

Ahhh.... the excitement of my life..........................

Tomorrow night............... TEXAS DE BRAZIL!!!!! I really hope this doesn't screw up my diet!

July 14, 2010

Today I AVOIDED the scale!

I actually slept in until 10 but don't tell G!!
I set my alarm at 6 so G could go to his dentist appt.
He called me around 8 to make sure I was up.
Then I went back to sleep when I noticed that nobody else was awake!

I seriously only expected to sleep for 1/2 an hour or so.

WOW!! I can't believe we slept so late. It was good though because the whining is not as bad today as it has been.

I went upstairs and cleaned the playroom and R's room. (That's what the kids call it)
I feel so good!!

Everyone said they were hungry so D started talking about a recipe that he had made at College 4 kids.
Can you guess what happened next?
That's right!
D made lunch... from start to finish.
I only had to help him with a can opener for the chicken breast.

He drained the chicken and put it in a bowl. He then got a fork and smashed the chicken into little pieces. Then he got a plate, put a tortilla on top, sprinkled it with shredded cheese, put chicken on top, more shredded cheese, folded the tortilla in half and popped it into the microwave for 1 minute. He actually did this for each child.

I was so proud of him and everyone gobbled it up!

My lunch, the tomato soup that H made because she didn't think she would like what D made.
First time in a while that I heard her say... "WOW! I was wrong. This is good!"

Dinner tonight will be Buffalo Wild Wings after VBS!

I guess it is ok to eat dinner at 8:30 if you have lunch at 3?

July 13, 2010

Ok, so today was the day from HELL!!

Seriously, I honestly thought that if I had to spend just one more hour with my children then I was going to totally loose it!

The fighting and whining has come to an all time high and I am not sure how to deal with it.

I am tired of spanking. I don't like it and I don't like to do it and I feel at this stage of the game, they are too old to be spanked.
Since that is too upsetting to me.. I decided to try something new.

They were all going at it......
MOM!! MOM!! M.O.M.!!! (insert name here) is bothering me!! Can you tell (so and so) to stop it now?? MOM! MOM! MOM! Are you listening?? I replied back with.. "No! I can't but the people down the street can and they are on their way to rescue you!"
Yeah... should have known that would not go over well.

MOM!! MOM!!! MOM!!! M.O.M.!!! SERIOUSLY!!! I can't stand it!! Will you spank (so and so)?? NOW!!!!
That's when it occured to me to say the following....

"EVERYONE DOWNSTAIRS NOW and sit on your step!!"
Oh once that is said then everyone starts the boo whooing and "last minute explanations".

I just looked at everyone and said "Line up in order" (Crying out of control now!!).

"EVERYONE DROP AND GIVE ME 20!!"

My kids looked at me like I had grown another head.
But you know what? It worked like magic. I couldn't believe it.

I was able to make my red velvet cake into cupcake form.
I was able to make dinner and serve it.
ALL without listening to crying and whining.

I took a shower and got ready to go have a meeting with my FWMOM friends.
I dropped the kids off at VBS and LK picked me up.

Once we got to Olive Garden LK ordered 2 bottles of wine, red and white! (Now, do you know why I love her so much?)

For dinner....
Lasagna Rollata al Forno
and for dessert
Berries & Zabaione

OMG!!! SO YUMMY!!!
I also had 2 1/2 servings of salad, 1 breadstick, 1 glass of white and 3 glasses of red.

Scale will not be nice so I will not step on it. :)

July 12 cont.

I will be 40 on Thursday and I started thinking that G wasn't going to do anything for me.

Tonight he told me that he had already thought of taking me on Friday (kids won't be at VBS) to either Simply Fondue or Texas de Brazil. He said he wanted it to be a surprise but he figured if he didn't tell me then I would make alternate plans.
(I guess after 20 years he really does know me pretty well!)

You have no idea how happy this makes me!!!

Now which one will I choose???

July 12, 2010

_ _ 4!

Well if I am going to maintain, at least the last number is a 4 instead of an 8! ;)

I only drank 1 slimfast today and then had a veggie chipotle burger for dinner. I must say that I am not at all veggie burger material. I like meat!! When I grab a burger... I want it to be made with all beef, angus preferred. So, when I grabbed the "chipotle burgers" and threw 2 on the grill for me & G I really thought that they were BURGERS made with beef! I realized I might have bought the wrong thing when I pulled them out of the wrap and thought "hmm... these look kinda wierd.... oh well.. i am tired... the kids are driving me insane today... so maybe they look wierd because they are filled with spicy stuff!" (Yes, I am that stupid sometimes!)

Well, then I was grilling it and realized... "SHIT! These are those damn veggie burgers!"

I was so sceptical to try it but I was hungry and the other burgers looked greasy. I love me a greasy burger but knowing that I am going out to eat TWICE this week... can't do greasy.

I decided not to put it on a bun because I didn't think a veggie burger deserved a bun! Well I am happy to say that I was wrong.
OMG!! This was the BEST tasting burger I have ever ate!! The flavor, the spices, the texture.... it was brilliant!!! If I could remember what brand it was (G always throws the boxes away to make "more room" in the freezer) I would buy more just to make sure I would never run out.
I remember I bought them at Costco, there was a coupon for them last month and I think there was some green on the box.

Veggie burger for dinner!! Who would have thought??

July 11, 2010

_ _ 4!!!

OH MY GOSH!!

Who knew that eating food could help you loose weight?
OR
Maybe my water weight finally went away.
Either way, I am totally stoked!

Now, off to Hallmark to buy my annual ornaments!

Maybe I should say........ Now off to Hallmark, LOOKING GOOD, to buy my annual ornaments. giggle!!

July 10, 2010

_ _ 5!!
OMFG!! I can't freakin' believe it!!
Who knew homemade jalapeno poppers would be magic food?
haha

So today I have gone off the diet wagon.
I think it is because I know that I will be ALL SLIMFAST all the time in a little while or the fact that I was going to a picnic tonight that had fajitas? Either way, today I fell off the wagon............

I pretty much skipped breakfast, like usual, except for my heated water with lemon.... Yes folks, I can drink my water easier if it has been heated up first. No ice cold water for me. I think I get this from my stepmom LL. She has always drank water heated and I have always thought that was a little wierd. I have to say, she was totally on to something because it really rocks!!
Thanks LL ... You are totally making it easier for me to drink my water during the day!

SO, today for lunch I made myself a sandwhich... deli turkey breast, slice of provolone, some lettuce, fat free vidalia onion dressing and 2 slices of WHEAT bread.
It tasted soooo good!

Then for dinner.... catered fajitas. Oh but I didn't stop there.....
I had 2 tortillas, one had beef and the other had chicken.
I also had some tortilla chips with spicy cheese (kinda like rotel)
Beans and rice. I did NOT have the carrot cake but I did lick my finger after I cut G a slice. YUMMY!! THat one lick was enough for me because I also had........... 2 belgium 1554 beers, 5 or so margaritas from LK's Margaritaville machine and then 2 1/2 pitron margaritas while watching fireworks.

I think it would be best for me NOT to step on the scale tomorrow.
I know I did bad but I feel great!!!

July 9, 2010

_ _ 8!!!

The first word that comes to mind??? FUCK!!!

This is NOT the number I should see the morning of my appt with skinnybitch!!
CRAP!!! This is NOT GOOD!!!!

I tried to drink a TON of water in my "Team Jacob" (YUMMY) cup on the way to my appt.
I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I thought that I could pee out a few pounds but it didn't work. Instead I nearly peed on myself on my way to my next appt!!

Today's visit was followed by some good news.........

My next appt with Dr. Takemyfatawaynow is on Thursday JULY 22nd!!!!!
WOO WHOO!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!
This is THE appt where we schedule my surgery!!!

Skinnybitch suggested I start ALL SLIMFAST ALL THE TIME on the 18th. That would show more of a significant weight loss on the 22nd and if he says... I want you to be on all slimfast all the time for 3 weeks then I can say... Oh, I started that on Sunday.... cha ching... one week down! sneaky skinnybitch sneaky sneaky!!!! (I might start to like her after all??)

I can't believe it is possible to have my surgery done BEFORE school starts!!
With ZERO support from G, it would be nice to have it done while RK will be here.

I am going to have to get G to start installing these toilets so RK won't be bothered by that useless shit that G can do.
HEY RK... beware... phone calls on the way for sure!! giggle!

After my appt with skinnybitch they told me that I needed to go get some bloodwork done.

Now, when you are suppose to have a bunch of blood taken you do not want the guy doing it to say the following.......
"WOW!! You sure do need a lot of vials taken!! I don't think I have ever done this many before! OH WOW!! 4 are light sensitive and one has to be chilled! I wonder where I can start??"
UM, this might have been a good time to say... DUDE! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STICK MY DAMN ARM ALREADY!! I DON'T REALLY GIVE A SHIT HOW HARD THIS IS FOR YOU!! JUST GET IT THE FUCK OVER WITH AND LET ME LEAVE... I have to pee again!!!

Instead I remained composed, although annoyed and kept my mouth shut for ONCE!!

After my blood was drained from my body, I had to get my registration renewed.
I mean you gotta love the line at the sub courthouse on a FRIDAY. Oh, but if that line wasn't fun enough I had to go to the Department of motor vehicles because my license expires Thursday.

I have a theory on the people hired to work at the DMV.............

• Must fail some kind of iq test.
• Get paid by the amount of time sitting in their chair, as opposed to actually helping someone.
• Take a break only when there are 20 people in line instead of when there is 5.
• Do NOT at all think it is amusing when someone says "Hey? Do y'all use photoshop? No? OK Can you make me appear to only have 1 chin and look closer to 20 than to 40? NO? Ok... hahahahahahahahaha.. didn't figure it hurt to ask! What? Oh, yes I am ready to have my picture taken... sorry for wasting your valuable time!"
• DMV workers DO NOT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR AT ALL!!!!

The rest of the day was spent trying to entertain the troops at home.... Oh and trying to convince G that ALL of our kids DO NOT need to have their own computer!

YES that's right folks.... G has decided to start yet another project....

UM... HELLO?? There is a few other projects that need to be done first.....

• The toilets in my entry way.
• The backyard needs to be mowed so bad I think they are about to label our yard part of the rainforest.
• One more thing.... BUY HIS WIFE OF 16 YEARS A FABULOUS BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!!

Dinner tonight....
Mini pizzas for family (english muffin, sauce, cheese, pepperoni)

I decided I wanted jalapeno poppers.
I cut each one in half, scooped out the seeds, stuffed it with cream cheese, wrapped a piece of bacon around it and grilled it. YUMMY!!

If it helps... I did not eat the brownies I made for dessert.

July 8, 2010

_ _ 6!
Why am I maintaining???
I am so sick of staying at one weight... I loose a few pounds and then BAM... the shit is the same AGAIN!!!

Today was another crappy day followed by another crappy evening.
I think I need a break from slimfast. I am getting extremely irritable and bitchy.

I don't like being the "mean parent" but shit, somedays........
G blames it on hunger but I am just not sure. The whining in my house has come to an all new high and my nerves are shot. I need a break... if not from slimfast.... a break from my life..... just for a few days..........

I will be 40 in exactly one week from today and I have ZERO plans!!!
I shouldn't be depressed but I am.....

Tonights dinner
Nachos (again!) but this time I browned turkey instead of hamburger.

July 7, 2010

Ok, have you ever had one of those days where you wake up and think... Is this a good day to keep going or should I crawl back into bed and say Fuck it?

I should have crawled back into bed.

It was literally one of those days where I think that being a mom is not the job for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and would seriously do anything in the world for them but today i felt as though I lost another piece of me in the blackhole known as motherhood. I don't always feel like this but today I do.
I would appreciate no side bar comments on this revelation for the day. I am sure I will be over it by tomorrow.

To sum up the day... Lots of driving (as usual), lots of whining (as usual), lots of yelling (more than usual), lots of fighting (as usual) topped off by dropping 5 people off at our Wed hang out so I could drink a few margaritas and eat some fajitas at Rio Mambo with an old friend!

The day started off shitty and ended good!

I missed you CK and it was wonderful to see you again! Don't be a stranger!

P. S. I am not even looking at the scale tomorrow!!

July 6, 2010

_ _ 6!!!

Can you believe it??? 2 nights of nachos and 4 flights of stairs and I am down 1 pound!!!
I wish it was 10 but I can't be too pickey right??

Another day at museum school and another day for my vicodins!
I swear I heard my foot "pop" today. That shit can't be good at all!!

I did take H to get a pedicure today (her first) while we were waiting on the other 4. I specifically told that Chinese lady to NOT touch the back of my foot. The first (AND ONLY) time she did I yelled S.H.I.T man, that hurts!! The rest of the time, she was very gentle with my foot. I have to say that I really like this salon a lot! I got the parafin wax added and OMG!! That felt so freakin' wonderful!!

Meanwhile, Princess H in the next chair is telling the lady that she wants a flower on her big toes AND she wants the polish and flowers to match on her fingers.
I am relaxing in my chair and Princess is ordering up some flowers and a manicure.
They give her some nail salon flip flops and she looks at me "Do I get to keep these?"
Yes dear, but they are disposable. "No way! I will never throw these out! They are cool!!"
Ok, H whatever you say.

When we arrive back at the museum to pick up my other 4, one of H's shoes fall apart. She looks at me and says "What the hell?"
Note to self... pay more attention to what is said in front of children.................

As we walk to the van the other one falls apart. H looks at me and says "Ok, mom you were right this time!"
Nice to know that I am somewhat intellegent in the eye of a 10 year old.

Tonights dinner will be my chicken, pasta, spinach dish with a side of vicodin!

July 5, 2010

OMG!!! I am exhausted from today!!!
First of all I wake up to see _ _ 7 on the scale.
I must admit that I thought it would say a higher number.... so glad I was wrong.

So today is the start of Museum School week for all 5 of my kids. H is there from 10-12 and K,L,D and h is there from 1-3. I am not sure how this shitty schedule happened but they are all in the classes they wanted so whatever....

G was off today so he went with us to the museum. To say that today is a day I should have worn my boot would be a total understatement... more on that later.

Wake up early, make lunches for everyone, make breakfast for everyone, get dressed and pick out clothes for everyone (sounds like a typical day in Kim's World)
Once we get to the museum, we drop off H in her class and go get our passes for the day. G decides that we are going to see 3 planetarium shows and an omni show. (Oh, so glad he is with us today... snicker snicker)

I WALK the stairs to the Planetarium. G is still looking for the elevator and I am halfway up the stairs. He looks at me with a puzzled look and I said... "WHAT? You think all I do is eat cucumbers??"
We stay upstairs for the 2nd planetarium show because they are pretty much back to back.
We take the elevator DOWN (foot hurts too bad while walking down stairs).
Go pick up H and go to the van to get our lunchboxes while G finds us a table in the cafe.
After lunch (mine consisted of cucumbers and a slimfast... theirs was a delicous looking sandwhich, applesauce, pluit, cheese stick and 100 calorie pack of Lorna Doone cookies....... MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!!!!!!)

We go to Energy Blast which is a 4D show. h is a little freaked out but surprisingly lives through the 7 minute ordeal. We drop the other 4 off and head to the 3rd planetarium show for the day. After looking at the Leonardo Di Vinci exhibit we head back to pick 'em up. YES I walked the stairs again!!!
Next up Omni show... STAIRS again!!
Leave the museum, stop at DQ for a dipped cone (museum school tradition) for everyone... except me, stop at the library to get h his own library card, pick up tons of books and a few kiddy movies, go home and make dinner......

NACHOS again!! This time I browned hamburger meat and added that to the top of the cheese. YUMMY!!!
I pass on the 4th of the July cake that H made and went to bed at 8 to prop my foot up.
2 vicodins and a large glass of water later I woke up at 10:30 to the sounds of my family playing Wii. Got up to pee, told them to turn the Wii off and went back to sleep!

July 4 cont.

I worked and worked all day in H's room. All I have left now is the closet! (Ugh! Girl has way too many clothes!)
I told my spouse I didn't feel like going to watch fireworks downtown, so I turned on the TV and watched Macy's 4th of July show. (I only thought they had a Thanksgiving thing...........)
The fireworks in New York are awesome...
Note to self... Travel to NY next year for the 4th! Oh yeah!! I want to see those puppies in person!! WOW!!!

Dinner tonight was NACHOS.... that's right folks good old fashioned tortilla chips and cheese from a can! YUMMY!!!!

July 4, 2010

_ _ 7!!!!!!!!!!

1 pound!!!! Finally, it's happened to me, right in front of my face and I just can't describe it!! (Hey... don't you ever break out into song sometimes??)

I have drank several glasses of water already and a slimfast. I am going to finish cleaning H's room while everyone HOPEFULLY goes to the pool!

We were going to go to Mimi and Peepaw's house like we always do but my nephew is sick so we are staying home.

HAPPY 4TH EVERYONE!!!!

(Only 11 more days until my BIG birthday!)

July 3, 2010

Today my body and my nerves have been shot to shit.
I CLEARLY told my fucking family to let me sleep in.
Instead I am woken up to the sounds of G & H telling me to "hurry up" and get ready because they are late for Home Depot Day and EVERYONE wants me to go!
I mumble something like "I don't care! Leave me alone! I am tired! I hate Home Depot!"

20 minutes later I was in the van with my vitamin water zero in one hand and my crack in the other. Ok, it is not really crack but it is Ice Breakers gum and apparently my husband thinks I act like I am on a withdrawal if I can't find it. Which by the way, would please him more than anything because he has some stupid phobia about gum!
Anyway the gum was where it was suppose to be in the van so it calmed me down long enough to realize that I probably shouldn't kill the man, even though he did wake me up!

So we go to Home Depot to make another freakin' project. AND once again I am on the floor of the store building 3 compared to G's 2. I think the only reason he wanted me to go is so he would have help. I always build more than him. I get to the lumber area and sit on the floor and the kids follow me most of the time. Usually G only has K's project but today L was mad at me about something so she wanted "daddy" to help her.
As we were walking out they asked us if we wanted FREE POPCORN, hot dogs and nachos!! POPCORN!!! AAAAHHHHHH (LOUD SCREAM)!!!! Why is everyone out to be my saboture??? I feel like there is some force somewhere saying "Hahahahahaha you are a fat slob! Lookie lookie it's your favorite... P O P C O R N..... and you can't have any!! hahahahahahaha"

After Home Depot we went to the library to return our books but they were closed........... furlough work day or something...... they even had their drop box CLOSED.

Now it was off to Sams. I had said that I needed to go to Costco but there were a few things I needed at Sams also. G asked me if I could just get everything at Sams. I said I could but they better find me a geriatric shopping cart because there was NO way I could handle all the walking it was going to take to get my family in and out of that store with NO LIST!!
I am not sure how long we were in Sams for but I can tell you this...
My children and my spouse ate every sample TWICE
My spouse reminded me of why he likes Sams better than Costco when he noticed a sample
for beer (crappy miller and coors lite but it's still beer... well kinda)
My children act like monkeys who have escaped from the zoo when G is shopping with me.
I only had to get out of my wheelie cart ONE time to go to Toilet Timeout.
My spouse decided that we need new toilets so he bought 3 efficiency ones. Apparently you
press the "1" button when you pee and the "2" button when you poo. Aaahhhh how cute!
I know now that if my friend RK is reading this right now, he is thinking "OH SHIT G!!! I
know that your lazy ass ain't going to put those toilets in before I get there. FUCK!!!" (RK....
honey... you might be right. I love you!! ;)

After Sams... Sears to get L's glasses fixed and to order H's new ones. Well they were out until such and such time so H pipes up and says... "Justice is having a HUGE sale... 40% off of everything in the store!!"

Next stop Justice. Gary took the boys home to unload the van from Sam's and then to Old Navy for them a flag tee.
1 1/2 hours later I was FINALLY leaving Justice for Sears.

The lady isn't able to fix L's glasses so she will have to wear her older pair for now... at least until her prescription changes. We get H's ordered and H starts to tell this lady about how she was able to shop at Justice for some shorts and stuff. The lady tells G that Sears is ALSO having a clearance sale.... an additional 40% off ALL clearance items.
2 or 3 hours later we were leaving Sears for home...............

We get home around 8, I make a fast dinner for my family using a new recipe....
Don't worry about what I ate, because whatever it was it wasn't worth the calories in it. OH did I mention I was the only one in my family to NOT eat the hot dog, popcorn and nachos from Home Depot and the countless samples from Sams???
That's right folks, all I have had is several bottles of water and a few vitamin water zeros.

If that damn scale doesn't show any difference tomorrow I am going to put myself on the ALL slimfast, all the time diet.
I will have to do it 2 weeks before surgery so I might as well start now! I need to see some results soon before I end up and go postal on someone..............

July 2, 2010

Ok, I started my day off completely starving.
It might have been because I woke up around 10:30! I haven't slept that long in a long time.
I did get up at 5 when my furball woke me up with his howling about having to pee or something.
I find it very ironic how nobody else in my family can hear the dog crying at 5 AM!
Well naturally, I had to pee myself so I decided to weigh myself.....
_ _ 8!
I mean, shit. I don't eat ALL day and then I have ONE FREAKIN' meal and a 100 calorie "mommy drink" and I maintain my weight?? What the hell am I suppose to tell skinnybitch next Friday??? Uh, no I did not drink any slimfasts... instead I starved myself all day long so I could enjoy an adult beverage and a restaurant dinner! ........... I guess that won't work very well.

Well, I guess I have a few more days to figure this one out.....

Moving on to my day........
When I woke up at 10:30 G was in the kitchen making brunch out of leftovers. I decided that I would go ahead and eat their brunch and then drink a slimfast when they were having dinner.
My brunch consisted of....
corn on the cob
cold pasta salad
leftover steak

I didn't have anything else that they were eating. Instead I grabbed a vitamin water zero and headed upstairs to continue working on H's room. (I didn't finish it last weekend!)
At some point G called everyone to the table for dinner but I stayed working.
H fell asleep in her chair in her room and I kept going. I started trying to organize all those damn stuffed animals....... I swear that shit multiplies!!!
As I reached for one, I got dizzy and nearly fell down. I twisted my BAD foot and decided it was time for me to go to bed.
As I crawled into bed, I grabbed a vicodin and a big glass of water. I glanced at my clock........ 4:23!

If anyone wakes my ass up in the morning.... Bless their heart!!

July 1 cont.

WOW man! What a day!
After college for kids, I rushed to Costco to get gas, then ran home, took a shower, started dinner, TRIED to fix my hair & face and then got dressed as LK was coming to pick me up!
She was literally walking in the door while I was putting on my shirt. haha (Luckily for her, I was in the other room!)
So I rode with LK, aka gorgeousblondeskinnygirl, to meet MM and AC at the mall. Our plan was to go to Chilis for drinks & maybe some dinner and a movie.
At Chilis I ate the Asian Chicken Salad (with steak instead of chicken) and I had a Skinny Patron Margarita. The problem was I pretty much slammed my drink because I was enjoying my salad so much I forgot to drink it before it was time to go to the show. So, to say that I was a little tipsy would be correct. I don't know if it was the whole "I hadn't had ANYTHING to eat all day until my salad and 10 tortilla chips.", or the fact that my little 100 calorie drink was really strong that I probably shouldn't have slammed it. Either way, I was no longer feeling anxious about the day and I was in a great mood!!

After Chilis we went to see Eclipse. Now, I have NEVER had any desire to see any of the Twilight movies. However, since my day was so crazy I jumped at the chance to go. I wasn't worried about being lost because those movies are about the only thing people talk about so I felt pretty versed.
During the movie I drank a Coke Zero while LK ate on a huge bucket of popcorn. (I guess if I ran, worked out with a personal trainer and used an eliptical machine.. then maybe I would be able to eat that yummy goodness too!)

I do know that I am not sure when I was last attracted to an 18 year old but my goodness... I am so Team Jacob!!

July 1, 2010

_ _ 8!!

SHIT!

I wonder, is it against the law to shoot a scale? I am thinkin' (Texas thing) that there must be because you don't really hear about it on the news.

This just in....... A woman.... wait.... a BEAUTIFUL fluffy woman has just been taken to the police station.... the crime... (Dun dun dun in loud onimous tones) shooting her scale.... Lining the corridor to the police station are HUNDREDS of women with scales in their hands. This is getting out of control, there is total mayhem and the guards are surrounded...... now back to Food Network's marathon of ALL THINGS SWEET!!

Oh, it could so happen!
Maybe I should start the ALL liquid thing and forget about food for a while. That would put me somewhere in the range that Dr. Takemyfatawaynow wants me to be.

My next appt with skinnybitch is 1 week and 1 day away... I thought it was on my birthday but I apparently wrote down the wrong day (I guess eyes isn't the first thing to go!) I must re-focus myself......
I think I will wait until after the movies tonight............ I smell a big 'ole beer in my future............... so today I will skip the slimfasts and stick with the cucumbers.

In case you were worried... I ran to CVS this morning at 7 and replenished my supply of crack, ooops I mean Ice Breakers.

Now, I have to take h to his last cooking class and spend the rest of the afternoon at college for kids...... joy joy