I lied to myself and whoever is reading this. The ironic thing is that I HATE liers. I mean deception is my biggest pet peeves and yet I did it to myself.
When I went to Chili's... I ordered the "healthy alternative" only to have one of my sides.... LOADED MASHED POTATOES not the side salad like I said. I lied and now I feel sick to my stomach. I am sorry for lying. I have no excuse. It seems that I am the "token fat friend" in my circle of friends and nobody else wants to be that person.
I have sparked a diet revolution within my circle because everyone says that I am motivating them. Me? I am not your motivation... my fat is. You know that your darkest secret is to wish that you NEVER look like me. I lied because I didn't want to dissapoint the people that are rooting for me. The one I dissapointed the most was me. I am doing this for ME not G, H, K, L, D, h or I (the dog)! Just ME!!! I am allowed to be selfish once in a while and today is my day.
I will no longer lie.... I will no longer lie...
My honesty points for the day....
- I weighed myself yesterday and it said _ _ 0 which is up 2 freakin' pounds. I doubt the mashed potatoes did it but still... that royally sucks!
- Yesterday I tried to starve myself all day to make up for the 2 pounds gained... instead I ate more at dinner than I should have... lesson defeated....
- I HATE water!! Absolutely hate it. I have tried adding lemons/limes/even vodka and it doesn't help!
- Today I have drank 2 cups of water, not vitamin water zero or sobe life water, actual 2 cups of water from the fridge!!!
- I have already eaten a cucumber and some celery.
- My house today looks like a disaster more than usual. I am behind on my laundry and I don't really give a shit.
- My spouse yelled at me this morning about the laundry and I cried when he left for work.
- My 10 year old daughter thinks I am lying to her when I tell her other people think I'm funny. Apparently all she thinks of me is that I am mean and always tell her what to do.
- My 5 year old told me that I need to stop yelling at him and I told him to start obeying more.
- My triplets hate the "Yes I am a triplet! Now stop staring!" shirts that I bought them and refuse to wear them again.
- One of my 7 year olds told my 10 year old to be nice to me. (favorite child of the week!)
- I am drinking a slimfast right now wishing that it was a Crimson Tide from Eskimo Hut even though it is 9 in the morning.
- My version of publisher won't support some old newsletters so I have to start from scratch and I am super pissed off about it.
- My FWMOM meeting is tonight and I am trying to decide if a LARGE Shiner on draft would be better for dinner OR a LARGE Bud Light!
- The scale today said _ _ 0! I maintained instead of lost. I am really really mad about this one and feel somewhat defeated. On a side note.. I have already peed about 4 times so maybe tomorrow's weight will be different?
- I put my tennis shoes on today so I can walk around the Museum for 2 hours istead of shop.
- I spent over $300 at Marshall's yesterday and the majority of what I bought was new underwear for the boys. (h only wears Calvin Klein... not suppose to be a snobby thing, but he is big and those are comfortable. Besides, it helps me distinguish his underwear from K & D. Hard to blame h for peed underwear if they are Hanes brand!)
- I hate my hair.
- I have to go to another pool committee meeting so we can "beat a dead horse". SERIOUSLY PEOPLE GET OVER IT!!!!!
- I DO NOT FEEL BAD FOR KICKING A KID OFF OUR SWIMTEAM. HE DOES NOT LIVE HERE. HIS MOTHER IS AN EMPLOYEE OF THE POOL NOT A RESIDENT. Does this make me a bad person? NO!! His mother should have known better. Everyone involved should have known better. I pay $500 a year in HOA dues so that my kids can swim for 2 1/2 months out of the year. The pool is EXCLUSIVELY for the residents and their guests. If this makes me a bitch, then....
HELLO MY NAME IS KIM AND I AM A BITCH!!!!!
GET THE FUCK OVER IT ALREADY AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, if that doesn't make up for my deception... nothing will.
Any questions???
kim...u r too funny!!! i love #10 - it reminds me of my 10yr. old.
ReplyDeletedebbie
We need to go have a drink! I can relate to far too many of these! Water with vodka will be fine - we'll have several!
ReplyDeleteI think if you have to "make up" for deception at all, just admitting it and apologizing is enough! :)
ReplyDeleteKim - you know why you inspire me? It is the simple fact that you have demanded something for yourself. It isn't so much what it is for me, although I do think you are awesome, but just that you drew a line in the sand, and have tackled this for YOU!!! That my dear friend it what I so desperately aspire to do!
ReplyDelete